"Alaaaan," I beseech. "There's a bug in my bathroom." By which I mean, "There's a bug in my bathroom that I implore you to remove".
"What kind of a bug?" asked Alan, who grasped the unspoken subtext immediately.
"A sting-y one!" I replied.
"What kind of sting-y one? Am I going to need a paper towel, a shoe or a coffee table book for this?"
"Probably a shotgun. And I don't know what kind, he's just sting-y and he looks mad!"
"I'm not getting the shotgun," said Alan, rising and tearing off a paper towel. "And how can a bug look mad?"
"Well, okay, maybe he doesn't look mad. I'm projecting. It's just that I assumed he'd be mad because I globbed hand sanitizer on him to try to kill him, but it didn't and he's crawling out of the glob."
"Why did you put hand sanitizer on him?"
"Because he's a bug and bugs are nasty."
"Oh, of course. [flush] Your bathroom is now bug-free."
He's a brave one, that husband.
"What kind of a bug?" asked Alan, who grasped the unspoken subtext immediately.
"A sting-y one!" I replied.
"What kind of sting-y one? Am I going to need a paper towel, a shoe or a coffee table book for this?"
"Probably a shotgun. And I don't know what kind, he's just sting-y and he looks mad!"
"I'm not getting the shotgun," said Alan, rising and tearing off a paper towel. "And how can a bug look mad?"
"Well, okay, maybe he doesn't look mad. I'm projecting. It's just that I assumed he'd be mad because I globbed hand sanitizer on him to try to kill him, but it didn't and he's crawling out of the glob."
"Why did you put hand sanitizer on him?"
"Because he's a bug and bugs are nasty."
"Oh, of course. [flush] Your bathroom is now bug-free."
He's a brave one, that husband.
6 Comments:
But wait! if we mix wine and teh vodak, doesn't that mean...
ALCOHOLIC POPSICLES?!?!?
Maybe we'll try it at VWHQ...
Sarah/Bo
By
Anonymous, at 10:22 PM
dammit...wrong entry.
and we're sober. Imagine that.
No, Sarah had nothing to do with this one; Bo screwed it up all by himself.
By
Anonymous, at 10:24 PM
I dunno; I kinda think it's funnier this way.
By
Helly, at 7:35 AM
I think you've nailed the number one argument for institution of marriage. I can manage my phobia of daddy longlegses so much better knowing that my spouse is contractually obligated to remove them from the premises as soon as I scream. It's in the pre-nup.
So, Neil has thrown down the gauntlet with 185, and I'm loading Wii Fit right now to fly me some chicken.
By
Anonymous Me, at 1:15 PM
Neil pwns us both. I did not improve my score last night. I got home late, got dinner on the table late and wound up doing my workout after eating. I don't recommend it. I felt bloaty and gross, and I was obviously too tired by then to get the most of my workout. None of my scores were as good as usual in hula hoops or boxing, and sadly, my chicken didn't even make it to the boat this time. I shall try to do better this evening.
By
Helly, at 2:16 PM
1. I'm so glad Miss Esme is all right.
2. Can I borrow the husband for bug removal?
3. You should be good at hula hoops - yo' mamma was neighborhood champeen way back when!
By
Anonymous, at 9:40 AM
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