My clothes are disappearing. This weekend and the last, I did all our laundry - that is, the only things not washed, dried and folded/hung were the garments currently on our backs. Therefore, I know for certain that nothing is in the dirty clothes hamper or awaiting cleaning. I have two identical pairs of black pants but can only locate one. I've been through the closets and looked under certain sweaters/tops (I have a habit of hanging entire outfits together to minimize morning confusion) but only one black pants can be found.

Socks have also gone missing, but not in the stereotypical way of only finding one of each pair when the clothes are pulled from the dryer. Some time back, I bought a six-pack of socks from Target (so clearly we're talking valuable designer threads here) which contained three pairs of black socks and one each pink, purple and green. I have all the colors matched and in the sock drawer, but I can't find any of the black ones. I have black socks, other ones, but none of the ones from the six-pack, which are identical to the pink/purple/green ones in weave and length. That's six socks total that have completely disappeared.

It is highly unlikely that someone is circumventing our alarm system, ignoring all the electronics, computers and jewelry to steal my socks. However, given the fact that all of the missing items are black, I suspect that a homeless goth in the area is sneaking in and outfitting him- or herself with my clothes. That, or Alan's messing with me Gaslight-style. Nah, I don't think he's that devious - it must be the roving goth.