In the mail, I received a check from Wells Fargo Bank for $5,080.76 which, according to the small print, was sent because of my good credit history and sound financial status. If I’d deposited the check, I was to pay them back in small monthly installments over time, at a VERY REASONABLE interest rate.

Obviously, I was crushed by this.

I mean, what’s with the 76 cents?!? What horrible financial blunder have I made, what bill-paying oversight, what lavish expenditure, what, oh what, has brought me to this end?!? How have my expensive education and sound work ethic resulted in qualifying for only 76% of an additional buck? What arbitrary measurement did I fail to meet?!? How can I not be worthy of one more whole dollar?!? *sob*

I tore up their check. Cheap bastards.

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!