There are days when I question my writing ability, because my creativity to the quadrillionth power still isn’t as funny as the news.

Day-umm! In Atlanta, we just say, "Sorry - pardon me."

This is no fun unless we get to pelt him with ‘penny shopper’ flyers.

Or flog him...we do far too little flogging in this country if you ask me.

You knew it was only a matter of time - steroid use runs rampant in the bovine community.

Send in the clowns, but first call 'em a taxi.

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!