The Hellhole

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Last night I went to Cafe Bombay with Alan (or perhaps it's Bombay Cafe, I disremember) and had some damn fine chicken vindaloo. Thanks to one of my favorite PS2 games, Simpsons: Hit & Run, I kept hearing the voice of Apu, who will exclaim when you’ve done something particularly daring, "I’m a lean, mean, vindaloo machine!"   I had paneen nann too, and we split some vegetable samosa.  

How much of a Simpsons geek am I? Well, I know that Apu’s last name is Nahasapeemapetilon. My favorite quote from Apu in the PS2 game is when he says something along the lines of needing to hurry back to the Quik-E-Mart because "last time I was gone, hoodlums put pornography in the bridal magazines!".

Not much in the form of my usual updates to report: Atlanta has been remarkably free of Incidents of Traffic Idiocy, I have witnessed nothing hilarious and stupid, hockey doesn't start for another two months and I haven’t had any video game moments worth reporting...which is not to say I’ve been bored. But anyway, my life has been remarkably fuckwittage-free of late so today, instead, I bring you some bad jokes, courtesy of various friends and family.

Why is it so hard to solve a redneck murder?
All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.

So, this baby seal walks into a club...

A nun, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kinda joke?"

In order to raise money for their ailing monastery, an abbot decided that the brothers would start a business. They settled upon an old-fashioned English fish-n-chips stand. One day, a man came to the stand and waited his turn. One of the brothers asked if he could take the man’s order and the man asked, "May I have just an order of fries?"The brother said, "Hold on a moment. I'm the fish friar. You want the chip monk."

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him what? A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis.

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!

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