Formula One weekend coming up! It’s an all-new track (Bahrain) but the same old prediction from the Helmeister: Ferrari dominance. It’s not just red hot tifosi love that makes me say that, either: Michelin’s having tyre failure (they blame detached drainage hatches), McLaren had an engine die in practice so Kimi’s starting at minus-10 from wherever he qualifies - and what’s that I see at the top of the practice time sheets? Why, it’s one of the pretty red cars! As an ITV reporter stated, “It is difficult to look far beyond Michael Schumacher for Bahrain’s inaugural F1 winner.” Ain’t it, though?
I wish WSB Radio would get a different automotive sponsor for the morning commercials. The last few days it’s been Hummer of Marietta with Neal Boortz’s sidekick Royal Marshall giving the testimonial. He says things like, “All the ladies love to see me coming in my Hummer!” and “Once I got a Hummer, I was SOOOO popular with the ladies" and “If you see me and my Hummer on the street, gimme a wave!”. Every time, this makes me snicker like a sixth-grader who sees someone’s underpants and, if timed improperly, snort Diet Coke up my nose, because to hip young urbanites like myself “hummer” doesn’t mean an ugly civilian version of the military Humvee; it’s slang for...uh...sexual gratification of the oral variety, when received by a male. Here, I’ll use it in a sentence.
“Hey, Paul! Did you score?!?”
“No, but she gave me a hummer!”
“Sweeeeet!”
Okay, with that in mind, read Royal’s quotes again. Yes, I know I’m very immature for my age.
The World's Greatest Boss brought me a bottle of red wine this morning, a 1996 Freemark Abbey Cabernet Sauvignon. Is he trying to hint that I should start drinking on the job? There is that whole liver damage issue but on the other hand it might help immensely when dealing with idiots. I've often thought that certain people I have to work with would probably make sense if I were high. VERY high.
Of course, there is this one person with whom I have to work who never makes any sense and wouldn't no matter what I did or how much I drank...this person's behavior once prompted me to say to the World's Greatest Boss, "Being able to work for you is like being given keys and title to a brand new Ferrari Modena Spyder 360, black-on-black, V-12 four-cam...and [Name Deleted] is the birdshit on my windshield."
True dat.
I wish WSB Radio would get a different automotive sponsor for the morning commercials. The last few days it’s been Hummer of Marietta with Neal Boortz’s sidekick Royal Marshall giving the testimonial. He says things like, “All the ladies love to see me coming in my Hummer!” and “Once I got a Hummer, I was SOOOO popular with the ladies" and “If you see me and my Hummer on the street, gimme a wave!”. Every time, this makes me snicker like a sixth-grader who sees someone’s underpants and, if timed improperly, snort Diet Coke up my nose, because to hip young urbanites like myself “hummer” doesn’t mean an ugly civilian version of the military Humvee; it’s slang for...uh...sexual gratification of the oral variety, when received by a male. Here, I’ll use it in a sentence.
“Hey, Paul! Did you score?!?”
“No, but she gave me a hummer!”
“Sweeeeet!”
Okay, with that in mind, read Royal’s quotes again. Yes, I know I’m very immature for my age.
The World's Greatest Boss brought me a bottle of red wine this morning, a 1996 Freemark Abbey Cabernet Sauvignon. Is he trying to hint that I should start drinking on the job? There is that whole liver damage issue but on the other hand it might help immensely when dealing with idiots. I've often thought that certain people I have to work with would probably make sense if I were high. VERY high.
Of course, there is this one person with whom I have to work who never makes any sense and wouldn't no matter what I did or how much I drank...this person's behavior once prompted me to say to the World's Greatest Boss, "Being able to work for you is like being given keys and title to a brand new Ferrari Modena Spyder 360, black-on-black, V-12 four-cam...and [Name Deleted] is the birdshit on my windshield."
True dat.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home