The Hellhole

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

The High Museum of Art currently has a visiting exhibit: the terracotta army of the First Emperor of China. There are many ads on television, radio, and local papers about what a great geological discovery this is, how incredible the terracotta army of the First Emperor of China is, and what a legendary ruler he was.

Me: You know what's getting on my nerves about all this?

Alan: What, sweetheart?

Me: Everyone keeps calling him "the First Emperor of China" and that's all they say! That's all anyone says: the news, the AJC, even the High's website. I mean, some of us might like to know his name! Emperor Who? It might be important trivia someday! Why does no one ever say, 'The First Emperor Hirohito' or 'Gai Pan' or 'Ralph' or whatever?!?

Alan: You raise a good point. He must have had a name - I assume they know it.

Helly: I mean, if I went to all the trouble to build a terracotta army, I'd put my name on every single one of them! I wouldn't want brigands and pesky neighbor kids and thievin' Russians stealing MY terracotta army! Somewhere on every single one of them, I'd put "Property of Helly Bowman's Big Ol' Gorram Terracotta Army"!

Alan: Well, you wouldn't.

Helly: No, not me personally. I'd have a minion see to it. I assume I'd have minions. After all, I'm Emperor.

P.S. Qin. His name is Qin. Qín Shǐhuáng Líng.


  • Hehehehe, I'm a huge fan of delegation.

    By Blogger A Margarita, at 8:22 AM  

  • I wanted so badly to see the sorry I missed it.

    Truly, had you been in charge, the entire army would have been clearly marked....


    (another helster word..are you the biggest tyroon in your organization?)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:33 AM  

  • it's aiight. every fucking thing else now has a stamp with "Made in China" so they're making up for it.

    By Anonymous (S)wine, at 5:38 AM  

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