Snippets of conversation around The Hellhole:

Alan: What's it like outside, honey? T-shirt or sweatshirt weather?
Me: T-shirt I guess. It's pretty nice...[gestures to my top, a long-sleeved thick cotton] I was almost warm.
Alan: So. It's 97, then?

Watching VH-1's That Metal Show:
Alan: What I don't get is how a show about metal can be so fucking boring.
Helly: Well, one problem I see is--
Alan: Aaaaah! Sweetheart, that guy is wearing a FANNY PACK!
Helly: Okay. Okay, you've not only rendered my comment completely irrelevant but have pinpointed the crux of the problem.

Speaking about Mister Fusspot:
Alan: We paid a lot of money for that dog, you know.
Helly: Yes, I know.
Alan: Point being, all the essential parts are there and everything on him works.
Helly: Uh...okay?
Alan: So, y'know, it's not necessary to carry him everywhere - he can actually walk.