The Hellhole

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

It's called voice mail - hello, and welcome to the 1980s...

I was on the phone with The Boss for about 20 minutes this morning. Once our conversation concluded, I checked my voice mail and had five messages, which is a lot for me in that short span. Every single one of them appeared to be from the same guy, a poor gentleman unable to figure out the intricacies and enigmas of this here new-fangled "voice mail" (*makes air quotes*) technology.

Message One: "Uh...hello? Hellohellohello? Anyone? Is..." click

Message Two: "Okay um hello? This is...are you there? Hello? HELL-O!..." click

Message Three: "background noise...muttering..." click

Message Four: "background noise...muttering...background noise...background noise..." click

Message Five: "Hello! Ah...hello, ah...background noise [goes on for a longer time]...." click

Intriguingly, by day's end I had not heard from anyone claiming they've tried and tried to reach me.


  • I hate checking my voicemail. I'm like email me! Text me! But please do not make me check my voicemail.

    By Blogger A Margarita, at 10:18 AM  

  • LOL! Remember when your grandmother used to talk to our machine, thinking it was your dad answering? It was a recording of Conway Twitty's 'Hello Darlin' ! hee


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:06 PM  

  • At my last job, they gave me a special phone number that could be transferred to my own number or could go to voicemail. And what I did was...not add it to any of my emails, so no one ever called. Hell, they were bloggers, they all had email. If someone desperately wanted to talk to me, they could email me and set up a time to talk to me. I signed HUNDREDS of people to contracts and I talked to three of them. And those people, I just gave them my home phone number.

    At home, we have phone service courtesy of the cable company, through a modem. Ideally, it would work well. It doesn't. It always has these stupid clicks on the line. Every single time I talked to my mom, even though I would always tell her to ignore it, she would say, "Are you there!?" The same thing if she was leaving a message.

    So, did you ever find out who wanted to talk to you?

    By Anonymous Flippy, at 4:17 PM  

  • No, I haven't spoken to anyone who's said they've called and called. I suspect it may be a bill collector - some couple, whether by accident or design, gave out my office number and stopped paying their bills. I get a couple of calls a week for these people and have to go through a lot of rigamarole convincing the collectors that no, they don't work here, no, they never have, and yes I'm sure.

    By Blogger Helly, at 8:36 AM  

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