We're doing some stuff on my laptop and the TV is on VH1, "100 Greatest Songs of the 80s". A clip of "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake airs and Alan chuckles, "Tawny Kitaen. Didn't she go insane recently?"
Me: I don't think it was all that recent, but yeah, she was wacked out on drugs and had a meltdown shopping, like on Hollywood Boulevard and beat up some woman or...maybe she trashed her car. Then she beat up her husband.
Alan: I could never work in a store on Hollywood Boulevard. I'd just be waiting for some asshole celebrity to have a meltdown so I could hose 'em with the fire extinguisher.
Me: [laughs]
Alan: You ever been hosed with a fire extinguisher?
Me: Of course not.
Alan: It's not any fun.
Me: [pause] Ummm...and how do you know this, exactly?
Alan: Oh, you know. Things. Stuff. You know. I've done things.
Me: I don't think it was all that recent, but yeah, she was wacked out on drugs and had a meltdown shopping, like on Hollywood Boulevard and beat up some woman or...maybe she trashed her car. Then she beat up her husband.
Alan: I could never work in a store on Hollywood Boulevard. I'd just be waiting for some asshole celebrity to have a meltdown so I could hose 'em with the fire extinguisher.
Me: [laughs]
Alan: You ever been hosed with a fire extinguisher?
Me: Of course not.
Alan: It's not any fun.
Me: [pause] Ummm...and how do you know this, exactly?
Alan: Oh, you know. Things. Stuff. You know. I've done things.
3 Comments:
Haha! I think Alan needs to guestblog!
By
A Margarita, at 10:10 AM
I know this in the same general way that I know that getting hit on the head with one of those big 6 battery Maglite flashlights hurts a lot. Like, really really a lot. Really really really a lot. You will see stars, and then the pavement rushing up to meet you. No stars there, sadly...
By
Alan Bowman, at 2:07 PM
I definitely think he needs to share this story with all of us...
By
Z, at 6:18 AM
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