Lately my PS2 time has been consumed with this wicked cool game my brother gave me, King's Field: The Ancient City. This is quite the enjoyable and diverting RPG, unfairly underrated; we'd heard nothing about it whatsoever until Bo spied it in a used bargain bin and bought it, figuring how bad could it be for $12. The answer: better than quite a few for which we've paid $50. Pros: non-linear; lots of exploration that doesn't have to be done in one particular arbitrary order OR ELSE; nice mix of puzzles and fighting; great weapons and bestiary; atmospheric music. Cons: very slow-paced, especially in the beginning; a number of things you'd NEVER find or NEVER think to do without a walkthrough; not the greatest graphics (though passable); a few of the "best" weapons are patently useless because they're so heavy, it takes him forever to actually swing; boss fights not very challenging.

But the pros far outweigh the cons, I'm having a great time with it and there I am, playing along when I reach the Widda Castle, where I must fight archer Widdas and swordsman Widdas. Widdas are snake-headed reptile men that make the greatest pissed-off hissing sound when slain. I'm fighting my way through the Widda soldiers populating the maze-like castle, trying to reach the Widda Queen for a boss battle, when suddenly an old April Wine song occurs to me, so with a few minor lyric changes, I start singing, to the tune of "Sign of the Gypsy Queen":

Siiiiiign of the Widda Queen!
Pack your guards and leave
Word from a woman who knows
Leave all your gold and you go!

Thereafter, at intervals I'd let out a "Siiiiiign of the Widda Queen!" or two. Then I decided that what a game as good as this really deserved was an entire heavy-metal concept album, so I started improvising words and tunes to go along with whatever I was doing in whatever level I happened to be exploring. While in the heart of the Holy Forest, I hit a groove. Fearlessly slaughtering enemies left and right, all the while keeping my right hand in the proper headbanging finger position, my face screwed up into my serious hard-core metal face, doing my best impression of Ronnie James Dio, I belted out:

In the palace of the HEDGEhogs,
Where poisoned water flows
And the mushrooms grow
In a land...out of TIIIME
Forest dew glistens
On the shoulder of a statue
And the Lady sits lonely
By the bubbling FOUNtain
Wishing she...were also STONE
Along the ancient PATH
Walks a man whose sword
Gleams with secret FI-YAR!
A stranger in mysterious ARRRMOR
In the palace of the HEDGEhogs!

Alan was watching this majestic display of musical creativity with an expression of bemused tolerance on his face, and then delivered one of the top three greatest compliments anyone's ever given me.

"What are you, Tenacious H?"