A few weeks ago, an Atlanta couple made The Blotter (funny crime stories from the police blotter, which appears in our weekly lifestyle newspaper, Creative Loafing) when a domestic disturbance turned violent. After her man slapped her around a little, the woman armed herself with a kitchen tool and defended herself - by attacking the guy with a cheese grater. Yeah, dude got grated!
Now, I grant you that It probably hurt; I know when I grate a piece of finger it hurts worse than a serious wound, but if Alan ever got rough with me and I felt a kitchen implement was in order, I don’t think I’d choose a grater. I’d probably get a large, steel chef’s knife with a comfy handle, but that’s just me - you know how I roll. And if not a chef’s knife, a melon baller - but I digress.
The point is, the incident gave rise to a new saying around The Hellhole, as evidenced last evening when Alan put the corn-cob holder thingies into the Random Kitchen Implement drawer instead of into the corn-cob-holder-thingy tray in the everyday utensil drawer (shudder - the horror). He saw me moving them to the correct place and said he was sorry, he didn’t realize where I kept them.
“That’s okay,” I replied. “It’s hardly a gratable offense.”
Now, I grant you that It probably hurt; I know when I grate a piece of finger it hurts worse than a serious wound, but if Alan ever got rough with me and I felt a kitchen implement was in order, I don’t think I’d choose a grater. I’d probably get a large, steel chef’s knife with a comfy handle, but that’s just me - you know how I roll. And if not a chef’s knife, a melon baller - but I digress.
The point is, the incident gave rise to a new saying around The Hellhole, as evidenced last evening when Alan put the corn-cob holder thingies into the Random Kitchen Implement drawer instead of into the corn-cob-holder-thingy tray in the everyday utensil drawer (shudder - the horror). He saw me moving them to the correct place and said he was sorry, he didn’t realize where I kept them.
“That’s okay,” I replied. “It’s hardly a gratable offense.”
7 Comments:
speechless.
no knives? no meat pounder thingies? NO FORKS? some people are so lame ....
By
nita, at 9:11 PM
Geez, you were spammed! I'm sure that's a gratable offense.
By
Anonymous, at 9:24 PM
Now that guy and his condo need to be run through a meat grinder.
By
Anonymous, at 2:33 PM
Ouch.
By
oldhall, at 5:03 PM
Spam is indeed a gratable offense even though spam doesn't get on my nerves as much as Blogger's word verification: random letters in wavy, weird fonts, sometimes I can't even tell if it's a 'V' or a 'U'...yours and Flippy's don't bug me because they are actual words in normal typeface.
OLD HALL! I thought you'd fallen off the edge of the blogosphere! Thanks for commenting!
By
Helly, at 7:26 AM
Are their any options you can define for Blogger's word verification? I ask because some blogs I go to seem to regularly have 12-letter verification codes which are squished and hard to read, yet other blogs seem to have 5-letter codes which are well-defined. They're all Blogger-based, too, so I always thought it was the blog owner setting the "degree of difficulty" for the image.
By
Anonymous, at 6:37 PM
Hmm...Leigh-Ann, I should look into that. I had thought the squished hard-to-read kind was my only option but can't remember now how I got to that conclusion.
By
Helly, at 6:40 AM
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