This weekend I went to see Cheryl’s new house. She is going to repaint most of it, which is a shame, because words cannot describe, nor pictures do it justice, the lurid, radioactive-nuclear-waste green the former occupants chose for one of the downstairs rooms. I have pix, and will e-mail them to those who are interested, but the pictures don’t convey the horror. Imagine X-Box green, but a couple of shades darker and more neon, covering all four walls of a room. According to the realtor, this room was their children’s playroom. It has a Scooby-Doo wallpaper border. Look for these children in the news in about a decade; they will be serial killers. Trust me, I’ve seen it firsthand: the rampant slaughter of mankind is the only rational response to being cooped up in The Lurid Green Room.
We were all out in the garage, scoping that area, having left the white door to the kitchen opened. The green was actually glowing on the kitchen door, from the opposite end of the hall. I told Cheryl, "I can see it now: once you sell the house, the new owners will be standing here talking to their friends about what tasteless weirdos you guys were, painting a playroom matte black. They won’t know until they try to remodel that matte black was the only color that would cover radioactive waste green." She said, "No, black would be a terrible idea...the green would ooze through it! It would still be there, glowing, behind the black, reaching for us, trying to break through!"
Don’t even get me started on the periwinkle-blue-with-cows bedroom or the purple bathroom...AND she didn’t even get a good address, like Knoblick Drive or Morningwood Circle. I don’t know why they’re even bothering.
A matter of housekeeping: congratulations to Nancy, who wins the 3rd-ever Hellhole Contest. This time, the challenge was ‘weirdest item for sale on E-bay’; Nancy found a guy auctioning off the entire set of his baby teeth. What’s even weirder was that someone had bid on it - the price was up to $8 last time I checked. Nancy gets a $45 Amazon gift certificate. Very few of you entered, leading me to conclude that (a) nobody reads my blog or (b) you are unambitious, lazy slugs. Whichever it is, you lose and Nancy ruleZ!
MONTOYA DELENDA EST!
We were all out in the garage, scoping that area, having left the white door to the kitchen opened. The green was actually glowing on the kitchen door, from the opposite end of the hall. I told Cheryl, "I can see it now: once you sell the house, the new owners will be standing here talking to their friends about what tasteless weirdos you guys were, painting a playroom matte black. They won’t know until they try to remodel that matte black was the only color that would cover radioactive waste green." She said, "No, black would be a terrible idea...the green would ooze through it! It would still be there, glowing, behind the black, reaching for us, trying to break through!"
Don’t even get me started on the periwinkle-blue-with-cows bedroom or the purple bathroom...AND she didn’t even get a good address, like Knoblick Drive or Morningwood Circle. I don’t know why they’re even bothering.
A matter of housekeeping: congratulations to Nancy, who wins the 3rd-ever Hellhole Contest. This time, the challenge was ‘weirdest item for sale on E-bay’; Nancy found a guy auctioning off the entire set of his baby teeth. What’s even weirder was that someone had bid on it - the price was up to $8 last time I checked. Nancy gets a $45 Amazon gift certificate. Very few of you entered, leading me to conclude that (a) nobody reads my blog or (b) you are unambitious, lazy slugs. Whichever it is, you lose and Nancy ruleZ!
MONTOYA DELENDA EST!
1 Comments:
Lazy? Totally.
But, even worse, I'm so far off on the fringe, I was afraid I'd have trouble figuring out what "weird" is.
Plus, shopping, in general, makes me dizzy.
:-) Lachele
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Anonymous, at 11:53 PM
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