I just returned from voting! Every county in Georgia has at least one place where you can vote early, if you so desire. Now I can, without the slightest twinge of guilt, tune out every single news item, sound byte, commercial and conversation about the candidates and this election. While I like to be informed on current events, let me just state for the record that if I never hear another word about what John "The Poodle" Kerry did in Viet Nam, or did not do in Viet Nam, or what George "The Shrub" Bush did to get into the Texas National Guard, or did not do to get into the Texas National Guard, it will be just fine as apple wine with me.
Freed from the confines of my 10th floor executive suite, I headed for the ‘burbs and my local Board of Voter Registration. It was a lovely day in Redneckville: 73 degrees, sunny, with a nice breeze blowing. I had a new Sara Paretsky novel to read and was enjoying my world. A poll worker told us that the wait time was estimated at a little over an hour, which suited me; I figured I’d have to wait at least an hour on Tuesday, but by then the weather might very well be cold, wet and rainy instead of perfectly lovely.
Of course, I can’t do anything, however simple and straightforward, without a Moment of High Drama, and this was no exception.
I was 10 - 12 people from the front door of the building when the girl directly in front of me suddenly fainted, right into the hedge! She appeared a few years younger than me (old enough to vote, obviously) and had no obvious health issue - no MedicAlert bracelet, for example. She hadn’t said anything to any of us about feeling odd or being too hot; those sorta casual, don't-know-ya-but-we're-stuck-here-together exchanges had been going on in small groups so it wouldn’t have been unusual to make a comment like that. But one second she was leaning against the outside wall of the building and the next she was supine in a shrubbery!
Now, if you’d described that scenario to me yesterday and asked what I thought would happen next, I’d have said that the other people in line would look vaguely at Fainted Girl like, "Oh...ain’t that a bitch", in perhaps 15 of the 25 simultaneous cellphone conversations going on someone would say, "Some girl just fainted...yeah...no...uh-huh...what did you tell them?" and that as the line advanced they’d step over her and go right about their business. But that’s not what happened.
What happened was this: everyone converged to help Fainted Girl. One lady sat down in the dirt and propped Fainted Girl up in her lap while another lady knelt beside her, held her head upright and patted her cheeks, asking if she was diabetic. Some older ladies heard the diabetic question and instantly produced a variety of candies to give her. Two or three people offered their bottles of water. In less time than it takes to type it, a lady who had a McDrink poured the liquid out of the cup, dumped the ice into her hand and said, "Here! Put this on the back of her neck!" but a man stopped her, saying, "Hold up a minute!" He pulled a bandanna from his back pocket and wrapped the ice in that before handing the makeshift icepack to the lady supporting Fainted Girl. Then someone realized that the county health department was at the other end of the row of suites, so Bandanna Guy sprinted off to summon a nurse.
In the meantime, Feisty Older Lady had dispersed the people in line inside the building, commandeered an office and was directing some muscular fellows to bring Fainted Girl inside. Feisty Older Lady was bossing everyone around, telling the people at the voting office to shut the outer door and turn up the AC. Then Sharp-Dressed Man charges in from somewhere at the back of the line - he’d already gotten in his car, driven somewhere (maybe one of the car dealerships on the same street) and procured two fresh, ice-cold bottles of water for her. Someone asked Fainted Girl if she’d had anything to eat today. The answer was negative and at once, the employees at the voting office produced the things they had for their own lunch: a pizza, a sub, homemade sandwiches, etc. Fainted Girl said she didn’t want to eat somebody's lunch so Hip-Hop Guy asked, "What do you want to eat? Tell me and I’ll go get it." I didn’t hear a reply but apparently Fainted Girl said she didn’t have any money, because next Feisty Older Lady said, "That doesn’t matter, I have plenty of money - tell the man what you want!"
About that time, EMTs arrived and started ministering to Fainted Girl in the privacy of Head Voting Guy’s office. While that was going on, Feisty Older Lady mentioned that she was worried because Fainted Girl had driven herself and didn’t want us to call anyone, a fact which had emerged just before the EMTs arrived. A group discussion began over who would drive Fainted Girl home if she didn’t need to go to the hospital, considering such points as who had the largest, most comfy vehicle, who had arctic-level AC, etc. Bandanna Guy (who had a Chevy pickup) pointed out that driving her home might actually be doing her a disservice because then she’d have to figure out a way to retrieve her car, so this whole group of strangers started discussing who lived in the same direction(s), who would drive whose cars and give whom a ride back, so that we could get Fainted Girl AND her car back to her apartment. Nobody said a word about losing their place in line, other errands they needed to do, that they were in a hurry - it was almost enough to restore my faith in the goodness of humanity.
Of course, Rockdale County IS mostly Republican.
MONTOYA DELENDA EST!
Freed from the confines of my 10th floor executive suite, I headed for the ‘burbs and my local Board of Voter Registration. It was a lovely day in Redneckville: 73 degrees, sunny, with a nice breeze blowing. I had a new Sara Paretsky novel to read and was enjoying my world. A poll worker told us that the wait time was estimated at a little over an hour, which suited me; I figured I’d have to wait at least an hour on Tuesday, but by then the weather might very well be cold, wet and rainy instead of perfectly lovely.
Of course, I can’t do anything, however simple and straightforward, without a Moment of High Drama, and this was no exception.
I was 10 - 12 people from the front door of the building when the girl directly in front of me suddenly fainted, right into the hedge! She appeared a few years younger than me (old enough to vote, obviously) and had no obvious health issue - no MedicAlert bracelet, for example. She hadn’t said anything to any of us about feeling odd or being too hot; those sorta casual, don't-know-ya-but-we're-stuck-here-together exchanges had been going on in small groups so it wouldn’t have been unusual to make a comment like that. But one second she was leaning against the outside wall of the building and the next she was supine in a shrubbery!
Now, if you’d described that scenario to me yesterday and asked what I thought would happen next, I’d have said that the other people in line would look vaguely at Fainted Girl like, "Oh...ain’t that a bitch", in perhaps 15 of the 25 simultaneous cellphone conversations going on someone would say, "Some girl just fainted...yeah...no...uh-huh...what did you tell them?" and that as the line advanced they’d step over her and go right about their business. But that’s not what happened.
What happened was this: everyone converged to help Fainted Girl. One lady sat down in the dirt and propped Fainted Girl up in her lap while another lady knelt beside her, held her head upright and patted her cheeks, asking if she was diabetic. Some older ladies heard the diabetic question and instantly produced a variety of candies to give her. Two or three people offered their bottles of water. In less time than it takes to type it, a lady who had a McDrink poured the liquid out of the cup, dumped the ice into her hand and said, "Here! Put this on the back of her neck!" but a man stopped her, saying, "Hold up a minute!" He pulled a bandanna from his back pocket and wrapped the ice in that before handing the makeshift icepack to the lady supporting Fainted Girl. Then someone realized that the county health department was at the other end of the row of suites, so Bandanna Guy sprinted off to summon a nurse.
In the meantime, Feisty Older Lady had dispersed the people in line inside the building, commandeered an office and was directing some muscular fellows to bring Fainted Girl inside. Feisty Older Lady was bossing everyone around, telling the people at the voting office to shut the outer door and turn up the AC. Then Sharp-Dressed Man charges in from somewhere at the back of the line - he’d already gotten in his car, driven somewhere (maybe one of the car dealerships on the same street) and procured two fresh, ice-cold bottles of water for her. Someone asked Fainted Girl if she’d had anything to eat today. The answer was negative and at once, the employees at the voting office produced the things they had for their own lunch: a pizza, a sub, homemade sandwiches, etc. Fainted Girl said she didn’t want to eat somebody's lunch so Hip-Hop Guy asked, "What do you want to eat? Tell me and I’ll go get it." I didn’t hear a reply but apparently Fainted Girl said she didn’t have any money, because next Feisty Older Lady said, "That doesn’t matter, I have plenty of money - tell the man what you want!"
About that time, EMTs arrived and started ministering to Fainted Girl in the privacy of Head Voting Guy’s office. While that was going on, Feisty Older Lady mentioned that she was worried because Fainted Girl had driven herself and didn’t want us to call anyone, a fact which had emerged just before the EMTs arrived. A group discussion began over who would drive Fainted Girl home if she didn’t need to go to the hospital, considering such points as who had the largest, most comfy vehicle, who had arctic-level AC, etc. Bandanna Guy (who had a Chevy pickup) pointed out that driving her home might actually be doing her a disservice because then she’d have to figure out a way to retrieve her car, so this whole group of strangers started discussing who lived in the same direction(s), who would drive whose cars and give whom a ride back, so that we could get Fainted Girl AND her car back to her apartment. Nobody said a word about losing their place in line, other errands they needed to do, that they were in a hurry - it was almost enough to restore my faith in the goodness of humanity.
Of course, Rockdale County IS mostly Republican.
MONTOYA DELENDA EST!
1 Comments:
What an adventure! Of course, if it's gonna happen to anyone, it's gonna happen to you. I am surprised that Redneckville is 'mostly Republican'. I thought those good ol' boys would be Democrats to the bone! I am going to see about early voting here in Cowshit. I bet we won't get sausage biscuits or doughnuts, tho....
mom
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Anonymous, at 8:51 AM
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