I head through the bedroom toward the back bathroom and come close to stepping upon a...leaving.  Our dogs are pad-trained but sometimes they think they're all the way on the pad but a little something is outside the strictly defined perimeter.  I shriek in outrage, "There is a poo!  Who put this poo here?!?  Who put this poo right where I would probably step in it?!?"  (I hadn't.)

Alan replies sardonically from his study, "I'll give you three guesses."

"Damn it, Alan!"  I gripe.  "Before I took you on, your mother assured me you were house-broken!"