The Hellhole

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Today I had my follow-up doctor's appointment to discuss the results of my pre-Christmas bloodwork, with mixed results.

I have lost 6 more pounds since the last appointment (about 3.5 weeks ago) - YAY!  "Good girl," says Dr. Desai.

My glucose level is perfectly normal - YAY!  Let me eat cake!

My blood pressure is up, several degrees higher than optimal - BOO HISS!  "We must discuss this further," says Dr. Desai.

My liver and kidney functions are, according to Dr. Desai, "just perfect" - YAY!  All that water drinking and subsequent time in the ladies' room are paying off.

My overall cholesterol is way down, well under the "normal" cutoff - YAY!

My good cholesterol is way down, well under the "normal" cutoff - YAY!

My bad cholesterol is way down, well under the "normal" cutoff - YAY!

My triglycerides are more than twice the normal reading - YAY!  I shall master The Force!  When can I go to the Dagobah system?!?  "No," frowns Dr. Desai.  "That's midichlorians.  High triglycerides are BAD.  Here, have a brochure.  You will not go to the Dagobah system; you will stay here and take fish oil.  They do not have fish oil on Dagobah."


But what about my midichlorians?  "It is not a bad count," says Dr. Desai.  "I am not displeased with it.  But I wouldn't go bar-hopping in Mos Eisley with stolen droids until you've been on 1,000 mg of bota for at least a month.  I'll see you at the end of February and we'll re-test."


  • Well, if Dr. Desai is not displeased then everything is basically fine. Congratulations! I know my BP is high and my dr is on maternity leave - still? maybe? - so I'm some months overdue for a checkup. Dreading. And how is it possible that my doctor can be young enough to be on maternity leave? If they have children at all, doctors should be at the grandparent stage already.

    By Blogger Nancy Heiges, at 11:13 PM  

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