ZOMG, y'all, making fun of my above-ground pool by calling it a white trash pool has come back to haunt me. I am a toothless hillbilly.

Seriously.

On Sunday evening one of my front teeth freakin' BROKE. I called the dentist Monday and spent many hours in his company on Tuesday. They took NINETEEN X-rays of my mouth. I am going to get an implant, but several other steps have to happen before that, including a bone graft. Can I just tell you that right up there with 'severed into thirteen pieces by chainsaw-wielding serial killer', the words 'bone graft' are things I hoped never to write about on my blog as happening to me? Well, not like I'd be writing about it after being severed into thirteen pieces by a chainsaw-wielding serial killer, but you get my point.

He wants to do other work besides the front tooth (upper right, BTW). For one thing, he wants to rid me of a couple of molars. I expected that; I'd cracked one molar some time ago but never did anything about it because...well, I was scared so just didn't, therefore I hadn't seen him in quite some time. My next appointment is August 7, at which time he will do a debridement and outline an action plan for what he wants to do, which at this point we think will be bridges (yes, plural, sigh) until he can see over several months how the bone graft is doing, and then depending on how it looks, I may be able to replace with implants.

But in the meantime, I have to go out to work and run errands and grocery shop and be out among people with a GREAT BIG HOLE in my face, and random folk don't know I'm in the several-step process of doing something about it, they just think, "OMG that woman is missing her front tooth, what a stereotypical redneck!" AAAAAGH! Why couldn't it have been a molar so no one would notice?!? Oh, right, it was a molar and I didn't do anything, which brought us to this point.

I would totally take a picture of my toothless ass in my white trash pool for public amusement (because someone should get something positive out of this - all I'm getting is pain and a gigantic invoice) but thanks to rain every evening for over a week, I have an algae problem in the white trash pool. I did some work tonight to try to correct it and will do more over the weekend, so there may be hope, if only I can find a camo tube top in which to pose.

At her behest, I sent a toothless picture to one of my besties, Tammy, but if she posts it on Instagram or Facebook, I'm totally telling the chainsaw-wielding serial killer where she lives.