The Hellhole

Monday, July 04, 2011

I may never drink beer again.

Oh, I know what you're thinking. "She must have pitched a roaring drunk last night!" because that's usually what precedes such a resolution, but I didn't, I totally didn't. I was fairly well-behaved last night (well, for me). Yesterday was the anniversary of our first date so in honor of the occasion, we went to the same restaurant (Applebee's) and watched the same movie (Shrek 2). I even wore the same outfit, including the same earrings and necklace, but not the same shoes, the original ones having worn out long ago.

However, I had to wear a black silk cardigan over the outfit because the top doesn't fit well at all since my weight loss. It's a modestly cut pale green tank top but now the arm holes gape open hugely and I would have been showing a lot of side-boob, hence the cardigan. I'm not sure my mom can do anything with it either, because both the top and pants are this stretchy, clingy weird material that I'm not sure will stand up to retailoring.

But anyway, I had a Grey Goose and tonic with dinner (okay, maybe that was plural - Grey Gooses? Grey Geese?) but did not overindulge. Why, then, am I eschewing beer?

Because I just now opened one, a Rolling Rock if you're curious, and eeeeuw gross! I couldn't twist the top off as usual but thought nothing of it because sometimes that happens and I can tell that I'm going to cut my hand if I keep trying, so I use the bottle opener. So that's what I did just now but as I was about to have a sip, I noticed that around the lip of the bottle there was all this...stuff. It looked rather like the bottle had been rolled in oregano - green, spiky grassy looking stuff. Grossed out, I presented the evidence to Alan, who advised me not to drink it. (Yeah, I'd already gotten that far on my own.) But then he sniffed it, made a face and told me to smell it. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! That which has been smelt, cannot be unsmelt! I may never drink beer again.

Fortunately for the fermented barley industry, we shall be going later today to Matt & Tammy's, for a Fourth of July celebration and barbecue. I am confident that I can rely on the strength of my stalwart buddies to help me get back on a path to normalcy. I might be able to attempt a Corona. If someone holds my hand.

3 Comments:

  • I feel compelled to point out, vis a vis the time/date stamp on my post, that I was not drinking beer at 11AM. It's nearly one o'clock here. Vagaries of Blogger or my computer clock or something. Then again, as Mr. Buffett says, "It's five o'clock somewhere."

    By Blogger Helly, at 11:52 AM  

  • I think that 5:00 rule is completely arbitrary, anyway. Happy anniversary of your first date!

    I apologize on behalf of Rolling Rock, which is my favorite beer, for your unfortunate experience.

    By Blogger Nancy, at 8:27 PM  

  • I may be branded as a heretic, but I tend to buy beer in cans now. It doesn't skunk as easy, I can crush them down so more fit in the recycle bin, and they make great targets for when Brenden wants to shoot his BB gun.

    Now I have a new reason - it won't collect gunk underneath the cap.

    Lest you imagine me drinking Milwaukee's Best or Busch Light, my beer of choice these days is Yeungling.

    -Sandy

    By Blogger Topcat, at 8:46 AM  

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