Given the time of year, I’m sure you all are wondering about my Super Bowl prediction. Okay, well, one of you is wondering. To recap, each year I predict the Super Bowl winner based upon The Parseghian Principle, my theory that the winner of any sporting contest can be determined by counting the number of Notre Dame alumni on the active rosters; the team with the most Fightin’ Irishmen wins (obviously).
Side note: actually, there’s a bit more to it, such as roster/depth chart considerations, Notre Dame player position, analysis of the offensive and defensive styles of the teams involved, etc. but (a) that’s only interesting to the true football fanatic and (b) I don’t want to give away my method in its entirety.
In the decade or so since formulating The Parseghian Principle, I have only been wrong once (more on this later). I have spent much time pondering this year’s prediction and have hesitated to post, as I am quite conflicted. Most all Vegas oddsmakers, football fans and sports analysts have New England as the clear favorite. However, the Patriots have ZERO Notre Dame players on their roster - not even one. The New York Giants have tight end Jerome Collins, defensive end Justin Tuck, and as extra insurance, backup tight end Marcus Freeman on the practice squad. That indicates a Giants win.
But! BUT! As I wrote, I’ve only been wrong once in the last decade, and guess which team put a great black blemish on my otherwise perfect and pristine record? The stinking New York Giants, that’s who! They were supposed to win the Super Bowl in 2001, but instead lost to the Baltimore Ravens in an utterly pathetic 34 -7 showing. I am fearful that, after thwarting The Parseghian Principle once, the New York Giants have no respect for my theory. History may well repeat itself - they’ll lose in spite of their Notre Dame players. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. But perhaps they’re using 2001 as a trick so that if I ignore the Principle, I’ll be wrong when they win. But you must have known that - you’d have COUNTED on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
My gut tells me one thing, logic another. Emotionally, I am finding it nearly impossible to pick against Tom Brady, the workhorse who carried my fantasy team - the Amazing Spiderpigs - through a great season, but then The Parseghian Principle has taken me this far, but then again - it’s Tom Brady! I am confused and conflicted. I mean, I have to stick with my Principle, right, or what’s the point? So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But what of the suspected New York Giants curse? I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Unless the whole point of the curse is to trick me in a “fool me once/fool me twice” sort of scenario, in which case I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
I don’t know what to do. I’m beginning to see the NY Giants as my own personal Bucky Dent (a little mixing of the sports metaphors for you there), out to get me no matter which way I choose. Do I adhere to my principle or do I give in to NY Giants fear? And if I do, which way do I...I don’t know. I can’t...I mean...I want...
Bloody hell.
New England.
Side note: actually, there’s a bit more to it, such as roster/depth chart considerations, Notre Dame player position, analysis of the offensive and defensive styles of the teams involved, etc. but (a) that’s only interesting to the true football fanatic and (b) I don’t want to give away my method in its entirety.
In the decade or so since formulating The Parseghian Principle, I have only been wrong once (more on this later). I have spent much time pondering this year’s prediction and have hesitated to post, as I am quite conflicted. Most all Vegas oddsmakers, football fans and sports analysts have New England as the clear favorite. However, the Patriots have ZERO Notre Dame players on their roster - not even one. The New York Giants have tight end Jerome Collins, defensive end Justin Tuck, and as extra insurance, backup tight end Marcus Freeman on the practice squad. That indicates a Giants win.
But! BUT! As I wrote, I’ve only been wrong once in the last decade, and guess which team put a great black blemish on my otherwise perfect and pristine record? The stinking New York Giants, that’s who! They were supposed to win the Super Bowl in 2001, but instead lost to the Baltimore Ravens in an utterly pathetic 34 -7 showing. I am fearful that, after thwarting The Parseghian Principle once, the New York Giants have no respect for my theory. History may well repeat itself - they’ll lose in spite of their Notre Dame players. So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. But perhaps they’re using 2001 as a trick so that if I ignore the Principle, I’ll be wrong when they win. But you must have known that - you’d have COUNTED on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
My gut tells me one thing, logic another. Emotionally, I am finding it nearly impossible to pick against Tom Brady, the workhorse who carried my fantasy team - the Amazing Spiderpigs - through a great season, but then The Parseghian Principle has taken me this far, but then again - it’s Tom Brady! I am confused and conflicted. I mean, I have to stick with my Principle, right, or what’s the point? So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But what of the suspected New York Giants curse? I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me. Unless the whole point of the curse is to trick me in a “fool me once/fool me twice” sort of scenario, in which case I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.
I don’t know what to do. I’m beginning to see the NY Giants as my own personal Bucky Dent (a little mixing of the sports metaphors for you there), out to get me no matter which way I choose. Do I adhere to my principle or do I give in to NY Giants fear? And if I do, which way do I...I don’t know. I can’t...I mean...I want...
Bloody hell.
New England.
7 Comments:
Haha, I enjoyed the Princess Bride metaphor. The football theories are lost on me, but I would say that knowing the outcome of the Princess Bride, I would drink neither! Therefore, I think they will tie. Take my theory with a grain of salt, of course.
By
A Margarita, at 2:39 PM
Ha! That's one of my all-time favorite movies EVAH. "'Allo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You keel my father. Prepare to die."
By
Helly, at 3:32 PM
GIANTS!!
And I'm not actually left-handed!
By
Anonymous, at 4:53 PM
I enjoyed that, too - the funny made me read a sports-oriented post all the way to the end. I say, go with your Principle. The last time was a fluke, the exception that proves the rule. Unless you're actually betting real money, in which case, bet half on one team and half on the other.
By
Anonymous Me, at 8:02 PM
Following the analogy through to its obvious conclusion, you must clearly wager large amounts of money on the fact that BOTH teams will lose. Because, after all, both cups are poisoned. :)
cheers,
Phil
By
Phil C., at 10:26 PM
The Princess Bride AND feetsball! You are such a winnah!
I tend to believe that your one miss was a fluke and you should just go with..oh..wait..which wine is poisoned, now????
((HUGS))
mom
By
Anonymous, at 9:18 AM
There is something you should know.
I am not left-handed either!
(I wanted to post "Never go in against an Irishman when FOOTBALL is on the line!" but then I remembered that Vizzini followed that line with maniacal laughter and then death, so I went with 'left-handed'.)
By
Helly, at 10:17 PM
Post a Comment
<< Home