Back when I wrote the post on FEEETS, I intended to follow it with another post about quirky terminology we use that makes perfect sense to us, although it would sound strange to others. I started that post several times and I can't put my finger on the problem, but it just isn't funny. It reads like a series of entries in the dictionary. However, since I have nothing lined up in the way of alternative material, here's the list.

• the puzzle purse - the puzzle purse is a small, black Fossil bag that is just barely big enough to hold all the things I carry, but in order to hold them, everything must be arranged in precisely one certain way, and any deviation from that arrangement or addition to the ballast results in purse failure. It is often remarked, for example, that if I am to carry the digital camera I'll have to switch to another handbag and not 'the puzzle purse'. It's kinda like this one but that one may be a bit larger than mine.

• the picture shirt - Alan has a casual shirt with buttoned collar and cuffs that he refers to as his picture shirt, e.g., "Is my picture shirt clean?", "Can I wear the picture shirt?" It is so named because he was wearing that shirt in this picture, our favorite (and possibly the first) picture of us together. We later used that picture on the photostamps on the R.S.V.P. cards for our wedding. Taken by Nancy, matron of honour and world's greatest matchmaker.

• sheet pants - I bought Alan 2 or 3 pairs of lounge pants made out of a light, smooth cotton material which is very similar to better-quality sheets. He calls these his 'sheet pants' to distinguish them from his flannel lounge pants for winter. When it turns warmer at night, he will remark that soon it will be 'sheet pants weather'.

• stompy boots - I have many, many pairs of boots and one specific pair is known as 'the stompy boots'. They have thick soles and are very cushy inside so the first few times I wore them, I stomped around making as much noise as possible (and having as much fun as a 4-year-old with a mud puddle). Alan christened them 'the stompy boots'.

So there you have it. It was funny when I planned it in my head; I'm not sure why it isn't once written. I'm too young to have lost my sense of humour already, aren't I??? Next thing you know I'll be hollering at kids to get off my lawn and grumbling to myself in the grocery store about the outrageous price of a loaf of bread.