Are you competitive? I don’t think of myself as particularly so; when playing card games or trivia, or on the very rare occasions that I participate in something physical like beach volleyball, it’s more about having fun than winning. I don’t get mad when my favorite college or pro teams lose - sure, I enjoy it more when they win, but I don’t walk around in a bad mood for days when they lose (although I know quite a few people who do). I told myself - and I truly believed - that the same was true in fantasy sports. Every time I’ve played, whether hockey or football, I wanted desperately to do well enough not to embarrass myself but total domination wasn’t a big deal. So I’m not the competitive type.

Except when I’m winning.

This year in fantasy football, I have a winning streak going. It is mostly through sheer luck but let’s pretend it is my extreme knowledge of the sport, savvy analysis and keen eye for talent, shall we? I was happy with my first couple of wins but as I won more, I became more obsessed with The Streak. I didn’t want to mess up The Streak - how long could I keep The Streak alive? I’d grow a playoff beard if I were a dude. I remember Dion James once wore the same clothes for 16 days straight in hopes of keeping a Braves streak alive. If I decide to do that, I’ll warn you guys so you can stock up on Febreeze.

Going into Week Five of fantasy football, I was 4 - 0. My quarterback all year has been Tom Brady (good, solid choice, won a Super Bowl or three) and my backup was Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback whom I drafted mostly out of loyalty to my brother, the biggest Cowboys fan alive besides Jerry Jones. But Tony Romo turned out to be quite the breakout pick, and through Week Four he had racked up more points than my starting quarterback (130 to 121). So this week, I decided to start Romo instead of Brady because he was having such a great season and because I thought Dallas was facing a much weaker opponent, with Buffalo having only one win thus far and their quarterback making only his second NFL start. The odds were solidly with Tony Romo and it was the totally sensible choice to preserve The Streak.

Well. Looking on the bright side, I suppose I should be pleased that Romo only threw FIVE interceptions, not six, and that only TWO of them, not all, were returned for touchdowns. Plus, he lost only the ONE fumble. I was so extremely, incredibly pissed off last night - way out of proportion for a football game but what made it worse is that I’d have won this week if I’d left Tom Brady in the lineup. I was kicking myself for fiddling with the lineup in the midst of a winning streak. I’d have been sad whenever The Streak ended, but it was far worse somehow that it wasn’t because I happened to score fewer points than the opponent, no, I’d done so because I’d messed with the lineup in the middle of a streak. And I know better! A player on a streak has to respect the streak! Superstition (and belief) are as important in sports as talent, I know that better than anybody! I deserved to lose.

Except I didn’t.

Five and oh, bitches. Five. And. Oh. The Streak lives!

Which is a very good thing for me, but even better for Tony Romo, because now I won't have to stalk and kill him like Vincent Gallo's character in Buffalo 66.