And I had just posted about what a nice Christian lad he was, too...

My phone rings. It’s The Boss.

Me: Why do you never call me except when I’m trying to eat my lunch? WHY?

The Boss: I like to bug you. Now, about this [Company Name] contract...

Me: *disgusted noise* I’m supposed to be able to eat! There are labor laws!

The Boss: What are you eating?

Me: A clementine.

The Boss: You’re eating Clementine?!? Have you gone lesbian?!? Does Alan know?!?

Me: Not Clementine, a clementine.

The Boss: You mean there’s more than one? Woo-hoo! Take pictures!

Me: I mean a tiny little mandarin orange, as I'm sure you know.

The Boss: Mandarin?!? I thought she was a Miner Forty-Niner! Take LOTS of pictures!