Hmm...Nancy wrote recently that she doesn't get much hate mail regarding her parenting skills, like Dooce. [On a side note, that's kind of bizarre to me, because even if I totally, completely, 100% disagreed with something Heather, a/k/a Dooce, did, I can't imagine why I'd expend time and effort to write anything like some of the hate-filled, vituperative snot she gets via e-mail. But that's not the point.] Alan commented, as I'd read on her site, how "dooced" had become urban slang for getting fired over what one wrote in one's personal blog. Let me just say (or rather, write) this: you guys JUST. DON'T KNOW. I get in trouble with The Boss for my blog ALL. THE. TIME.

I get fussed at for not having the blog up yet. "There's no blog! What are you DOING?!?" "Well, I was trying to finish up the monthly billing...do you want me to quit and blog?" "Yeah."

I get fussed at for not being amusing. "I read that. It wasn't funny." "I'm sorry, but...well, nothing particularly funny happened yesterday." "Think of something. You could post a joke, at least."

I get fussed at for not being original. "I read the blog. You told me that already." "Um, that's the only interesting story I have from yesterday." "But you told me that! Write something I don't already know about."

I get fussed at for not writing about him. "You didn't say anything about me. Why isn't it about ME? Write about me." "You haven't been here for nearly two weeks." "I called on the PHONE. You're not even TRYING."

And, most recently, I get fussed at for not being truthful. "I read what you wrote about calling [Censored] a douchebag gnome." "So what?" "That's not nice." "I don't care. It happened." "No, it didn't. Not the way you wrote it, anyway. I think if you're going to blog about it, you have an obligation to be truthful." "Huh? What do you mean? How wasn't it?" "I believe the exact term you used was "f***ing douchebag gnome. Get it right."

So, here's my retraction, which also serves as reason #5,789 why he's The World's Greatest Boss.

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!