Last night Lachele, Alan and I went to dinner together, which was lots of fun. Lachele hung out after the meal and sampled some of this month’s Chardonnay from the California Wine Club. At the end of the evening, she started for home and that’s when the real excitement began.

A couple of minutes after she left, the doorbell rang. “I’m stuck in a ditch!” she reported. Now, Lachele is a lot better than me at a number of things and this was no exception. While in the process of moving in, I managed to get stuck in that ditch once or twice; I even got my motorcycle stuck there when the rear wheel went about 2 inches off the driveway, but the grade was too steep for me to push the heavy bike out. But like I said, Lachele outdid me. We walk out to scope the situation and the front passenger tire is so far over in the ditch that the rear wheel on the driver’s side is up off the ground...a good three feet up off the ground. I’m telling you, she REALLY outdid me. In spades. I stuck my feet into the wheelwell, stood up and bounced, trying to right her Saturn, but it was hopeless.

Chancey’s Towing had to be summoned. They are nearby and over the years have become my personal preference for all my towing/wrecker needs, but I couldn’t find their number. I called directory information to ask the computerized lady. At this point Lachele is back in my kitchen and, in the huge span of the six or seven minutes that have elapsed, Sprocket has totally forgotten that during the earlier part of the evening she was his new best friend, and is barking his furry little head off. The computerized directory assistance hears him. It goes like this:

BellSouth, what city and state? WoofwoofWOOFwoofwoofwoofWOOFwoof!
I’m sorry, I did not understand you. Please- WoofwoofWOOFwoofwoofwoofWOOFwoof!
I’m sorry, I did not understand you. CONYERS, GEORGIA! [me]
Thank you. What listing? WoofwoofWOOFwoofwoofwoofWOOFwoof!
I’m sorry, I did not understand you. Please- WoofwoofWOOFwoofwoofwoofWOOFwoof!
I’m sorry, I did not understand you. Please- WoofwoofWOOFwoofwoofwoofWOOFwoof!

Finally I walked out into the garage, obtained the number from a surly live person and summoned Chancey’s. The guy arrived, took one look and said, “DANG! Y’all oughtta take a picture of THAT before I pull ‘er out!” Which was even funnier considering that incident photography was exactly how we’d passed the time while waiting for him. I hope the pix turn out all right; I have a very nice camera but it was dark and raining.

A few minutes and too many dollars later, Lachele’s car was rescued. To commemorate the occasion, I planted a pink lawn flamingo in the deep trench her tire had scored alongside the driveway. Why, of course I keep a supply of pink lawn flamingos on hand for just such an occurrence. Don’t YOU???

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!