Man, I can’t believe my cat finked on me and posted such humiliating stuff on the internet. I never should have used his name as my password; I've now changed it to an obscenity that he probably doesn't know and couldn't spell correctly. This is why dogs are better than cats; Sprocket would never have done this to me. Okay, Sprocket would never have done it because he doesn’t know about the slugs or the Abba cd, but still...

Anyway, in my defense, it’s not my Abba cd. I was dating a guy who left it at my house. Oh, wait - that’s even more humiliating, dating a guy who listens to Abba. It was a lie anyway. The truth is that I only bought that Abba cd because “Waterloo” was stuck in my head, had been for days, and of all the annoying songs to get stuck in your head, only “Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart” is worse than “Waterloo”. This was ‘way before MusicMatch or iTunes, mind you, so I was forced, for the sake of all humankind, to buy the cd, listen to “Waterloo” and get it out of my head before I climbed a bell tower and started shooting. At the time, I thought it'd be safe because I wore a paper bag over my head during the purchase.

And I don’t cry during The Rock anymore. Really, I don't. In a subsequent viewing, the horror had worn off enough for me to notice that when the alloys come off the “Ferrari”, they aren’t real Ferrari alloys, leading me to conclude that the whole car was an imitation. No actual ponycars were harmed during the filming of this movie. There’s not much I can say about the other stuff, though. Gimme my Spongebob; I want a nap.