Here is a list of my top ten favorite hockey players, and why. List is in no particular order except for Tie Domi, who reigns supreme as my personal Hockey God.
Keith Tkachuck (#7, St. Louis Blues) - because ka-CHUCK! is such a great hockey name
Radek Bonk (#14, Ottawa Senators) - ditto
Marty McSorley (#29, Boston Bruins) - well, he played mostly with the L.A. Kings, but he was a Bruin when he earned a place on my Favorite Hockey Players list by knocking the snot out of that asshole Donald Brashear (then of the Vancouver Canucks). That guy has got to be one of the dirtiest players I’ve ever watched and I don’t blame Marty a bit. If I ever run into Marty McSorley in a bar, I’m buyin’ him a beer.
Mats Sundin (#13, Toronto Maple Leafs) - he’s a Maple Leaf, he’s their captain, he’s led Toronto in scoring for 8 straight seasons, he’s a cutie - what’s not to love???
Brendan Shanahan (#14, Detroit Redwings) - first, because you gotta have a favorite Redwing (that’s a rule in hockey). Second, he used to play for St. Louis. Third, what a lovely, lovely Irish name! Fourth, what a lovely, lovely boy!
Al MacInnis (#2, St. Louis Blues) - led all NHL defensemen in scoring last year (68 points), won the hardest shot competition at the All-Star game for the SEVENTH time (98.9 mph) - Big Al pwns you all!
Patrik Stefan (#27, Atlanta Thrashers) - Historical and geographical reasons, mainly. I have to have a favorite player on my hometown team, and who better than their first-ever draft pick? He got an assist on the first-ever Thrashers goal and scored his own very first goal against Dominik Hasek (not too shabby). Kind of pissed me off when he changed from #13 to #27, thus negating my first (and so far only) name-and-number equipped jersey, but I’ve forgiven him.
Chris Pronger (#44, St. Louis Blues) - Second pick in the ‘93 draft, won Hart Memorial Trophy, won James Norris Memorial Trophy, won CHL Top Defenseman Award, won Max Kaminsky Award - fabulous player. Oh, and thanks, Mom, for my #44 practice shirt!
Eric Boguniecki (#33, St. Louis Blues) - I could look up some stats on the web or wax poetic about him tearing up the boards ever since the 2002/3 playoffs, but let’s be honest. Eye candy.
And my all-time favorite hockey player ever:
Tie Domi (#28, Toronto Maple Leafs) - First of all, he looks like Henry Rollins and that's just not wrong. The more pertinent reason is that he's responsible for my conversion from casual observer to ardent hockey devotee. Back when Bo was encouraging me to follow hockey, trying to convince me that it was the second coolest sport ever (Formula One being #1 of course), I was struggling with the game. It’s hard to follow the puck on tv, I didn’t understand the rules, I didn’t know who anyone was...well, except for Gordie Howe and he had apparently retired. But Bo and a lot of our friends loved it so I was trying hard to get into the sport. Then came The Game That Changed My Life. Bo’s beloved Leafs came to Philadelphia, where the fans jeered and booed the Leafs all night long (that's okay, it's hockey). But in my opinion they crossed the line to just plain punkass rude when they cheered and taunted Domi after their goalie (Roman Cechmanek, I’m pretty sure) high-sticked Tie and he fell down, hurt. Then, when Tie got penalized early in the third period, these classless apes threw napkins, trash and stuff down into the penalty box at him. Tie put up with it for a bit but eventually he squirted them with water from his sports bottle. Enter a guy I call Joey da plummah - say it with a wiseguy accent and imagine serious plumber-butt. I have learned he is actually named Chris Falcone but I like my name better. Joey da plummah started reaching into the penalty box and throwing punches at Tie. Now I ask you: is that wise? Is it shrewd? Tie didn’t retaliate, which apparently enraged Joey da plummah even further, so he leapt from a couple rows away onto the penalty box, the glass gave way and dumped him into a tiny enclosed space where he was trapped with the baddest bad-ass in the business. Tie looked at him a moment, as if to say, “Well, now how you gonna act?” and Joey da plummah started punching him! Tie figured he could play it that way, if that was what Joey really wanted (see what a nice, obliging fellow Mr. Domi is?), so shortly thereafter Joey had to leave to get stitches. He wanted to press assault charges against Tie so The Law was summoned. After viewing the whole incident on video, The Law decided that charges were, in fact, called for, so they issued a citation. Against Joey da plummah. That ranks high among The Coolest Things I Have Ever Seen and I’ve been totally loving hockey ever since. So thanks, Tie!
Keith Tkachuck (#7, St. Louis Blues) - because ka-CHUCK! is such a great hockey name
Radek Bonk (#14, Ottawa Senators) - ditto
Marty McSorley (#29, Boston Bruins) - well, he played mostly with the L.A. Kings, but he was a Bruin when he earned a place on my Favorite Hockey Players list by knocking the snot out of that asshole Donald Brashear (then of the Vancouver Canucks). That guy has got to be one of the dirtiest players I’ve ever watched and I don’t blame Marty a bit. If I ever run into Marty McSorley in a bar, I’m buyin’ him a beer.
Mats Sundin (#13, Toronto Maple Leafs) - he’s a Maple Leaf, he’s their captain, he’s led Toronto in scoring for 8 straight seasons, he’s a cutie - what’s not to love???
Brendan Shanahan (#14, Detroit Redwings) - first, because you gotta have a favorite Redwing (that’s a rule in hockey). Second, he used to play for St. Louis. Third, what a lovely, lovely Irish name! Fourth, what a lovely, lovely boy!
Al MacInnis (#2, St. Louis Blues) - led all NHL defensemen in scoring last year (68 points), won the hardest shot competition at the All-Star game for the SEVENTH time (98.9 mph) - Big Al pwns you all!
Patrik Stefan (#27, Atlanta Thrashers) - Historical and geographical reasons, mainly. I have to have a favorite player on my hometown team, and who better than their first-ever draft pick? He got an assist on the first-ever Thrashers goal and scored his own very first goal against Dominik Hasek (not too shabby). Kind of pissed me off when he changed from #13 to #27, thus negating my first (and so far only) name-and-number equipped jersey, but I’ve forgiven him.
Chris Pronger (#44, St. Louis Blues) - Second pick in the ‘93 draft, won Hart Memorial Trophy, won James Norris Memorial Trophy, won CHL Top Defenseman Award, won Max Kaminsky Award - fabulous player. Oh, and thanks, Mom, for my #44 practice shirt!
Eric Boguniecki (#33, St. Louis Blues) - I could look up some stats on the web or wax poetic about him tearing up the boards ever since the 2002/3 playoffs, but let’s be honest. Eye candy.
And my all-time favorite hockey player ever:
Tie Domi (#28, Toronto Maple Leafs) - First of all, he looks like Henry Rollins and that's just not wrong. The more pertinent reason is that he's responsible for my conversion from casual observer to ardent hockey devotee. Back when Bo was encouraging me to follow hockey, trying to convince me that it was the second coolest sport ever (Formula One being #1 of course), I was struggling with the game. It’s hard to follow the puck on tv, I didn’t understand the rules, I didn’t know who anyone was...well, except for Gordie Howe and he had apparently retired. But Bo and a lot of our friends loved it so I was trying hard to get into the sport. Then came The Game That Changed My Life. Bo’s beloved Leafs came to Philadelphia, where the fans jeered and booed the Leafs all night long (that's okay, it's hockey). But in my opinion they crossed the line to just plain punkass rude when they cheered and taunted Domi after their goalie (Roman Cechmanek, I’m pretty sure) high-sticked Tie and he fell down, hurt. Then, when Tie got penalized early in the third period, these classless apes threw napkins, trash and stuff down into the penalty box at him. Tie put up with it for a bit but eventually he squirted them with water from his sports bottle. Enter a guy I call Joey da plummah - say it with a wiseguy accent and imagine serious plumber-butt. I have learned he is actually named Chris Falcone but I like my name better. Joey da plummah started reaching into the penalty box and throwing punches at Tie. Now I ask you: is that wise? Is it shrewd? Tie didn’t retaliate, which apparently enraged Joey da plummah even further, so he leapt from a couple rows away onto the penalty box, the glass gave way and dumped him into a tiny enclosed space where he was trapped with the baddest bad-ass in the business. Tie looked at him a moment, as if to say, “Well, now how you gonna act?” and Joey da plummah started punching him! Tie figured he could play it that way, if that was what Joey really wanted (see what a nice, obliging fellow Mr. Domi is?), so shortly thereafter Joey had to leave to get stitches. He wanted to press assault charges against Tie so The Law was summoned. After viewing the whole incident on video, The Law decided that charges were, in fact, called for, so they issued a citation. Against Joey da plummah. That ranks high among The Coolest Things I Have Ever Seen and I’ve been totally loving hockey ever since. So thanks, Tie!
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