Stupidity Ought To Be Painful, Part Two.
By way of reference information, I work for Sandy Jones, World’s Greatest Boss, who owns (in whole or in part), seven different companies, one of which is Business Traveler Services. I also want to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite humorists, Dave Barry, and stress that “I am NOT making this up”. Okay, onward!
Scarcely have I recovered from my adventure with Derek the Dumbass when I get a call from Mina in Accounting! Sheila forwards the call to me because, after a few minutes on the phone, she is able to determine that Mina has a question concerning an invoice! (Sheila will be punished for this later.)
Mina: Hello this is Mina in Accounting. [this is all she feels comfortable sharing at this juncture in our relationship]
Me: This is Helly. How can I help you?
Mina: I have a question about my invoice.
Me: [waiting silently, thinking there might be more to come]
Me: [so I was wrong] Okay, I can help you with that. Now, this invoice is for whom?
Mina: [happy, she knows the answer to this one!] Business Traveler Services! [Yeah. My company. Like that narrows it down for me.]
Me: And you’re calling from....?
Mina: [brightly, she’s 2-for-2] Jacksonville, Florida!
Me: [bloody hell!] May I have your company name and the invoice number?
Mina: It is *Anonymous Inc.* [company motto: We Hire the Cerebrally Challenged] and it says it is invoice number two four three seven!
Me: Okay, just one moment. [bustle about, retrieve copy of invoice #2437, open QuickBooks] Okay, I have it in front of me now.
Mina: Okay.
Me: [waiting. hoping. giving up.] So, what was your question?
Mina: It says it is for utilities.
Me: Yes...[thinking, so what’s the problem? They’ve been invoiced for utilities since their contract started and they’ve always paid them before...study invoice furiously to see if I’ve transposed numbers or mailed them someone else’s invoice, but no, and apparently she’s finished elaborating.] So you have an invoice for your utilities, and you don’t understand it?
Mina: Well yes, but then I have this other invoice, it is from Atlanta Airlines Terminal Corporation and it is for a whole lot more!
Me: Oh, I see. I can explain that. What happens is that AATC bills BTS for all of our spaces throughout the airport, then I break it down by subtenant and send you an invoice showing your portion only. I just include a copy of the AATC bill so you can see where I got the various amounts.
Mina: So now I should pay them?
Me: No, I already paid them. You need to pay me the amount shown on the BTS invoice to *Anonymous, Inc.*
--aaaaand now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the crux of the matter!--
Mina: But it’s not stapled!
Me: Excuse me?
Mina: It is not stapled! All the time when I get these things that say AATC it comes stapled to an invoice from BTS!
Me: [does she mean I sent her just the AATC invoice without stapling her individual one to it? No, because she knew the BTS invoice number. What the hell? I must have missed something.] So you have our invoice, I mean the one from BTS to *Anonymous Inc.*, #2437?
Mina: Yes! I have it!
Me: It’s dated January 15 for $85.08, right?
Mina: Right!
Me: And if you look on the last page of the AATC invoice you see the subtenant breakdown, and it shows your space number, where I got the $85.08?
Mina: Yes!
Me: So all you owe is just the $85.08 to BTS, okay?
Mina: Okay, but it’s not stapled! Always before, every time you send me invoices, I mean invoices that are for utilities and not for rent or things, I mean whenever I get these AATC pages they’re always stapled!
Me: Uh...okay...
Mina: But this one isn’t stapled! It’s just three pieces of paper!
Me: [Real Helly overcomes Professional Helly] Uh....well, why don’t you staple them together then?
Mina: Okay! I will do it! Thank you!
I sat and stared at my phone in a fugue state for a full two minutes. The experience was made even more surreal when it occurred to me that she had called me long distance on her company’s tab to resolve this vital issue.
And people wonder why I feel the need to drink heavily...
By way of reference information, I work for Sandy Jones, World’s Greatest Boss, who owns (in whole or in part), seven different companies, one of which is Business Traveler Services. I also want to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite humorists, Dave Barry, and stress that “I am NOT making this up”. Okay, onward!
Scarcely have I recovered from my adventure with Derek the Dumbass when I get a call from Mina in Accounting! Sheila forwards the call to me because, after a few minutes on the phone, she is able to determine that Mina has a question concerning an invoice! (Sheila will be punished for this later.)
Mina: Hello this is Mina in Accounting. [this is all she feels comfortable sharing at this juncture in our relationship]
Me: This is Helly. How can I help you?
Mina: I have a question about my invoice.
Me: [waiting silently, thinking there might be more to come]
Me: [so I was wrong] Okay, I can help you with that. Now, this invoice is for whom?
Mina: [happy, she knows the answer to this one!] Business Traveler Services! [Yeah. My company. Like that narrows it down for me.]
Me: And you’re calling from....?
Mina: [brightly, she’s 2-for-2] Jacksonville, Florida!
Me: [bloody hell!] May I have your company name and the invoice number?
Mina: It is *Anonymous Inc.* [company motto: We Hire the Cerebrally Challenged] and it says it is invoice number two four three seven!
Me: Okay, just one moment. [bustle about, retrieve copy of invoice #2437, open QuickBooks] Okay, I have it in front of me now.
Mina: Okay.
Me: [waiting. hoping. giving up.] So, what was your question?
Mina: It says it is for utilities.
Me: Yes...[thinking, so what’s the problem? They’ve been invoiced for utilities since their contract started and they’ve always paid them before...study invoice furiously to see if I’ve transposed numbers or mailed them someone else’s invoice, but no, and apparently she’s finished elaborating.] So you have an invoice for your utilities, and you don’t understand it?
Mina: Well yes, but then I have this other invoice, it is from Atlanta Airlines Terminal Corporation and it is for a whole lot more!
Me: Oh, I see. I can explain that. What happens is that AATC bills BTS for all of our spaces throughout the airport, then I break it down by subtenant and send you an invoice showing your portion only. I just include a copy of the AATC bill so you can see where I got the various amounts.
Mina: So now I should pay them?
Me: No, I already paid them. You need to pay me the amount shown on the BTS invoice to *Anonymous, Inc.*
--aaaaand now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to the crux of the matter!--
Mina: But it’s not stapled!
Me: Excuse me?
Mina: It is not stapled! All the time when I get these things that say AATC it comes stapled to an invoice from BTS!
Me: [does she mean I sent her just the AATC invoice without stapling her individual one to it? No, because she knew the BTS invoice number. What the hell? I must have missed something.] So you have our invoice, I mean the one from BTS to *Anonymous Inc.*, #2437?
Mina: Yes! I have it!
Me: It’s dated January 15 for $85.08, right?
Mina: Right!
Me: And if you look on the last page of the AATC invoice you see the subtenant breakdown, and it shows your space number, where I got the $85.08?
Mina: Yes!
Me: So all you owe is just the $85.08 to BTS, okay?
Mina: Okay, but it’s not stapled! Always before, every time you send me invoices, I mean invoices that are for utilities and not for rent or things, I mean whenever I get these AATC pages they’re always stapled!
Me: Uh...okay...
Mina: But this one isn’t stapled! It’s just three pieces of paper!
Me: [Real Helly overcomes Professional Helly] Uh....well, why don’t you staple them together then?
Mina: Okay! I will do it! Thank you!
I sat and stared at my phone in a fugue state for a full two minutes. The experience was made even more surreal when it occurred to me that she had called me long distance on her company’s tab to resolve this vital issue.
And people wonder why I feel the need to drink heavily...
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