The Hellhole

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Hardcore, like pants on a cockapoo

Last night, I started a new video game. It's acknowledged as not just hard, but 'brutal' by the participants on GameFaqs, and yet it looks SO FUN. Well, it may be eventually - it took me like 12 minutes just to create my character and there is a dizzying blur of mathematics - stats, vitality, dexterity, hyper armor, character class...I long for the day when understanding THACO was the most difficult part of playing a game.

I got killed in the freakin' tutorial.

By the first boss, but still. In the tutorial.

I was playing late last night after Alan had already gone to bed, so this morning he asked me how it went. I admitted that I'd been killed, remarked that I just wanted to
play the game, I didn't want to revisit algebra and calculate if 40 endurance was ultimately better than 10 Faith and a bit of Luck, and observed, "It's like being plopped down in the middle of an in-progress game of Advanced D&D, where all the other players are taking a brief break from the Applied Science Club."

Alan said, not unkindly, "Well, you can always trade it in at GameStop."

"No!" I replied. "I don't want to trade it, I want to play and at least earn a few trophies, even if I don't finish it. But I want to finish it because all the kids on GameFaqs say this is not for the pampered, want-my-hand-held gamer, it's only for hardcore gamers! And I'm hardcore, Alan! HARDCORE!" (making an 'obey the fist' gesture to italicize my hardcore-ness)

"Yes, sweetheart. You are very hardcore. In your pink lace-trimmed pajamas."


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