The Hellhole

Friday, September 25, 2009

If you checked out our vacation photos, you may have noticed that the lakehouse we rented was decorated with quite a lot of taxidermied wildlife. To be honest, I found this kind of creepy even though I could see that they were going for the "rustic hunting lodge" look. But when I was looking at the mounted deer head, I had an idea! I decided that what we really needed instead of the tired, ordinary deer head was a mounted deer butt, and the hind feet. We'd hang them at precisely the height and distance apart to make it appear that the deer has leapt into the wall.

I had a plan to obtain my deer butt. Our yard guy, Tim, goes hunting all. the. time. He shoots the occasional one for meat but he hasn't shot for a trophy in a few years; he told us he has a minimum - I forget what it is exactly - but he's only shooting one if he sees a buck with an extraordinarily impressive rack of antlers. I figured I'd ask him if, when he bagged his trophy buck, I could have the parts that he didn't need. He came yesterday to cut our grass so I went to talk to him about my idea, describing what I wanted to do.

"Ohhh!" he said. "You want a ass-mount!"

I kept a straight face but oh my gods and deities, can you believe there's an actual term in Redneck for what I was describing? I thought I was being funny but it's ordinary enough that they have a word for it! My flabber was ghasted.

A ass-mount. Indeed.


  • For some reason I avoid LOL type abbreviations, but this time, seriously: ROTFLMAO! "an actual term in Redneck" !!!!!!

    By Blogger Nancy, at 5:00 PM  

  • Still laughing about this!

    By Blogger Nancy, at 7:42 PM  

  • Bwahaha!!! That's hilarious! :)

    Also - I was cleaning out my desk on Friday (YAY for leaving the lab!) aaaaaand... I found the package I thought I mailed to you, um, MONTHS ago!!! I am so, so, so sorry! It totally buried under another empty box, I had no idea it was there, I had convinced myself I'd mailed it! AHHH!

    My cleaning isn't complete, I left it there, but when I go back later this week, I will bring it home with me, re-open it (because? I'm sure the card I wrote is out of date!), make sure nothing was perishable (I'm pretty sure there wasn't anything... I hope...) and then FINALLY send it. You know, nearly a year (or at least 6 months) after I originally intended to!

    By Blogger Z, at 8:14 AM  

  • Thanks, Nancy!

    Z, that actually makes me feel better because my sister-in-law's birthday was May 24 and her present? Still lying on a dresser in our spare bedroom. I keep thinking I'll see her so I don't mail it, then when I do see her I don't think about it...

    By Blogger Helly, at 8:49 AM  

  • I thought that such a thing existed... but I didn't know it had a name. lol.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:55 AM  

  • By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:23 PM  

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