The Hellhole

Sunday, August 10, 2008

A random bullet-point post, because I am a lazy loser...

Bernie Mac died, which made me sad. I thought he was great in Oceans Eleven.

It may be heresy but I liked the Oceans Eleven remake better than the original. No Frank or Deano or Sammy D, but they got away with it. I like that they got away with it. Plus there was Don Cheadle.

Then CHEF died! That made me even sadder. I didn't think you were supposed to actually die if you were a Scientologist; I thought you just got reincarnated as Norman Vincent Peale.

I semi-finished my current video game, Final Fantasy XII. I beat the final boss - and oh, yeah! I kicked his fine long-black-haired taut behind all to be-damned and I laughed when he made his final explode! And I watched the end movie stuff, but I left several sidequests and optional boss fights undone so I will be going back to do those before I move on to a new game.

I took a look at my new game, Final Fantasy: Dirge of Cerberus and I was disappointed to learn that it is not (at least so far) a traditional FF battle system, but a first-person shooter. I'm not good at first-person shooters, though I have played a few. The camera controls in FPS make me sorta dizzy/sick to my stomach. I don't think I actually have a genuine problem like vertigo - or like epileptic people have to be careful with video games - but having to swing the camera rapidly back and forth, and the horizon jumping up and down, while you line the sights, swinging both the character's viewpoint and the gun sight around independent of one another - it makes me dizzy and odd-feeling. I don't like it.

Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? SHAFT! You're damn right!

I still haven't made a blog video. Eventually I worked out using the camera itself, but then even a very short, 45-second video was like 11,000,000 MB which was way too large, and YouTube rejected me (thrice), and Blogger won't load anything larger than 100 MB (even though blogs I personally read have uploaded 5 and 6 minute videos, so I know it's theoretically possible) but apparently compression needed to be done. To my happy surprise, I discovered a whole program on my bitchin' laptop that I didn't even know I had, which is some ostensibly bad-ass video-editing software, but even though it will do things like fades, slo-mo, fast-mo, flips, rotations, credits, titles, transitions and a thousand other things, it won't compress file size. So I'm kinda done with that. It was supposed to be a fun thing, not a huge PITA that required extra software and a dozen steps and major frustration, so my career as a videographer is over before it began.

Yesterday while I was blogging and doing some chores around the house, a random movie came on a random channel. It was one of the funniest movies I've ever seen!!! Only, even though it was a comedy, a great deal of the funny was unintentional, springing from how very, very bad it was. It featured Dolly Parton as a country-and-western singer (a real stretch for her, but she pulled it off) who, on a bet, tries to turn New York cabbie Sylvester Stallone into a country singer. Honestly, Dolly was good but Stallone was so! incredibly! laughably! bad! My sides hurt from laughter. Say, did you know beer hurts worse than Coke if you laugh it out your nose? Well, maybe because I had lime in the beer, but still - fair warning.


  • Sylvester Stallone singing country AND Dolly in a movie? I'm putting it on my netflix queue. How have I not heard of this movie?

    By Blogger A Margarita, at 8:39 AM  

  • HA! It's called "Rhinestone", it turns out. Here is the imdb link:

    By Blogger Helly, at 9:22 AM  

  • Speaking of first person shooters, Mark is playing Resident Evil as we speak. Whenever I look up, he's shooting something in the head. The head explodes, then the body falls down. But they're bad heads, like zombies or something. When I was playing Zelda (briefly), I got really frustrated by the constant perspective changes. Now I'm behind him, now I'm in front of him, now I'm looking through his eyes. . . and it was hard to control the perspective and get the view I wanted.

    That movie sounds hilarious.

    By Blogger Nancy, at 8:43 PM  

  • Let me know when you start taking on some of the Elite Marks like Gilgamesh, Hell Wyrm (10 million HP) and Yiazmat (60 million HP). :)

    I've always found it a bit odd about FFX and FFXII that the toughest enemies in the game are OPTIONAL. I mean, in FFX a lot of the monster creations in the Monster Arena were tougher than anything you saw during the regular storyline. Same with FFXII.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:30 PM  

  • I'm fighting Gilgamesh right now, Phil!!! Well, not this very moment obviously...I semi-defeated him in the Lhusu Mines and he ran away. I went back and saved instead of giving chase b/c I was quite tired by then. Any tips or tricks???

    By Blogger Helly, at 9:40 PM  

  • Bernie Mac died? Bummer. I liked him.

    I lurve Rhinestone. Like, a lot. I need to see it again.

    I don't know why, but I love it when Sly's father drools over Parton.

    By Anonymous heather, at 11:14 PM  

  • You knew of this wondrous movie? And you did not TELL ME?!?

    Yeah, that was funny. And Stallone's statement, "I'm not kidding, I got this REALLY BIG ORGAN!" [his dad runs a funeral home - so they have a really big organ]

    By Blogger Helly, at 7:28 PM  

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