I have a terrible singing voice but that doesn't stop me from providing a near-constant soundtrack for my life, whenever the radio/CD player/iPod is unavailable or uncooperative. Mostly this takes the form of nonsense songs set to tunes of well-known songs - think Homer Simpson and his "Spider-Pig" ditty. In fact, I sing a version of the Spider-Man theme to my dog Sprocket, varying the words depending on what he's doing: "Sprocket-Man, Sprocket-Man, chewing up whatever he can!" or "...runs amok whenever he can!" Sprocket's whole pedigree name is "Sprocket Tumi" which lends itself easily to another tune I often sing to him: "Sprock Sprock Sprock! Sprock Sprock Sprock! Sprocket Tuuu-mee!" (thanks to KC and the Sunshine Band for "Shake Your Booty"). Lest you think I play pet favorites, it is not so; Finnovar the cat also has a "Shake Your Booty" song which begins, "Finn Finn Finn!" but he did not wish me to blog the rest publicly, deeming it "both puerile and fatuous, a tune which [he] scorns and finds not the least endearing, just ignore that odd purring sound, it's probably coming from the ductwork.".

I do this during my video gaming as well, a habit I first posted about here. My current game, Final Fantasy XII, has an area called the Giza Plains in which there are many Giza Rabbits. Well, I didn't want to kill bunnies and avoided this whenever possible. I was nearly in tears the night I learned that, in order for the Cluckatrice (a mark that I was hunting) to appear, I had to kill everything in the area, including sweet, fluffy Giza Rabbits. I finally did that by inputting the appropriate attack button sequence when I saw one, closing my eyes and singing "Do Wah Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy Do" until it was over. It did not console me in the slightest that (a) they were virtual bunnies or (b) they respawned as soon as I left the area. After that, whenever I was in the Giza Plains, I sang to myself, "Giza Buns, Giza Buns, not gonna kill those Giza Buns!" (Spider-Man again - what a versatile tune!)

So the other night I was wandering in an area called The Feywood killing some Deadly Nightshades. Here is an educational digression: I called Alan to look at the Deadly Nightshades, whom I found quite amusing because, "See, honey? They look like pissed-off tomatoes!" Alan said, "That's not surprising - the tomato is a member of the nightshade family."

"Really?" I replied. "I didn't know that. I'm familiar with the whole 'tomato being a fruit not a vegetable' debate, but I had no idea it was a nightshade."

"Yep. They are. Nightshades: family Solanaceae." So you see, video games CAN be edumacashunal. Especially if your husband has a degree in culinary arts.

But anyway, while I was fighting the Deadly Nightshades, something attacked me from behind so once the last Nightshade made its 'pissed off because you killed me' squeak, I hit the attack button without bothering to look to see what had belted me. Once the blow landed, I shrieked in horror, "It's a BUN! A Feywood bun! I hurt a bunny!" Alan looked closer at the screen and said, "I don't think that's a bun. It looks like...an evil squirrel, maybe? No, a butterfly. It's some kind of mutant butterfly. Kill it!"

"Oh, a butterfly! That's okay then. Take that! And that! Ha, I will killzor it!" Which I did, merrily, and the rest of the time I was in The Feywood, whenever a Mu showed up, I killed it quite happily, singing to the tune of "Obsession" by Animotion, "Like a butterfly! A wild butterfly! I slaughtered it! And then I laughed a lot!"

(which I admit is not up to my "Palace of the Hedgehogs" standards, but that's all I've got on a Tuesday)