I am up above my...uh, hips...in projections and pro-formas and paperwork for a huge, HUGE, MEGA-HUGE bid at my company, so this is the best I've got today...
One of my two pairs of jeans (I'm not major jeans-wearing type of gal) got a hole in them and I thought I'd order some more, so I ordered some from J.C. Penney, 'cause, yeah: last of the big-time, high-rolling spenders = me. My order came today and after I got home, ate dinner, worked on some numbers, did some work-y type stuffs, Alan pointed out that I hadn't even looked at my new package of jeans. He opened them for me.
"This is not what I ordered!" I declared. Then, in all fairness to Jacque Pennayux, I amended, "At least, this is not what I MEANT to order."
See, my 2 pairs of jeans are some that I'd ordered about 3 years ago from JCP, same brand, exactly the same style, size, everything except that one was medium/dark blue and one was much lighter/faded blue. I meant to order that again, plus a pair in black, and they had the same jeans but in capri length so I thought I'd try one of those.
Instead, I received two shades of blue, one really dark and one medium dark, two blacks (apparently I'd decided to wear more black - go figure) but the capri pants were a puzzle. One was blue jean coloured but one was bright coral pink.
"What in the hell is this?" I demanded.
"Capri pants that you ordered. Pink ones!" answered Alan.
"Why in bloody hell did I order these? I don't want these. I'm not going to wear these! What was I thinking?!?" --> Please understand, I demanded of my husband, "What was I thinking?" as if he was going to know the answer. And by gods, he did.
"Because I told you to - you wanted the white ones, and I knew that was a bad idea so I told you to get the pink ones if you absolutely had to have capri pants."
"But white would have been cool! Why wouldn't you let me have white?"
"Because you would never wear them, because you would be afraid of getting them dirty, and you KNOW you don't hate anything as much as being dirty - you should seek help for that, by the way - and when you didn't remember to be afraid of getting dirty, you'd obsess that people could see your underwear through them no matter how much I told you it didn't show, which is what happens EVERY. TIME. you put on white pants for us to go somewhere, and so every single time you put them on and then decide to wear something else instead and so years would pass, but you'd never wear them, and eventually we'd take a carload of white jeans and white shorts and white capri pants to Goodwill, which I'm only saying because the Goodwill guy sees us coming and makes out a receipt for three, four gross of white pants, and so --"
"I get it. I get the point. What the hell am I going to wear with these stupid pink pants?!?"
"We'll find something, sweetheart. And remember, don't drink and shop."
I hate it when he's Right. I mean, he's right a lot, but I hate it when he's Right.
One of my two pairs of jeans (I'm not major jeans-wearing type of gal) got a hole in them and I thought I'd order some more, so I ordered some from J.C. Penney, 'cause, yeah: last of the big-time, high-rolling spenders = me. My order came today and after I got home, ate dinner, worked on some numbers, did some work-y type stuffs, Alan pointed out that I hadn't even looked at my new package of jeans. He opened them for me.
"This is not what I ordered!" I declared. Then, in all fairness to Jacque Pennayux, I amended, "At least, this is not what I MEANT to order."
See, my 2 pairs of jeans are some that I'd ordered about 3 years ago from JCP, same brand, exactly the same style, size, everything except that one was medium/dark blue and one was much lighter/faded blue. I meant to order that again, plus a pair in black, and they had the same jeans but in capri length so I thought I'd try one of those.
Instead, I received two shades of blue, one really dark and one medium dark, two blacks (apparently I'd decided to wear more black - go figure) but the capri pants were a puzzle. One was blue jean coloured but one was bright coral pink.
"What in the hell is this?" I demanded.
"Capri pants that you ordered. Pink ones!" answered Alan.
"Why in bloody hell did I order these? I don't want these. I'm not going to wear these! What was I thinking?!?" --> Please understand, I demanded of my husband, "What was I thinking?" as if he was going to know the answer. And by gods, he did.
"Because I told you to - you wanted the white ones, and I knew that was a bad idea so I told you to get the pink ones if you absolutely had to have capri pants."
"But white would have been cool! Why wouldn't you let me have white?"
"Because you would never wear them, because you would be afraid of getting them dirty, and you KNOW you don't hate anything as much as being dirty - you should seek help for that, by the way - and when you didn't remember to be afraid of getting dirty, you'd obsess that people could see your underwear through them no matter how much I told you it didn't show, which is what happens EVERY. TIME. you put on white pants for us to go somewhere, and so every single time you put them on and then decide to wear something else instead and so years would pass, but you'd never wear them, and eventually we'd take a carload of white jeans and white shorts and white capri pants to Goodwill, which I'm only saying because the Goodwill guy sees us coming and makes out a receipt for three, four gross of white pants, and so --"
"I get it. I get the point. What the hell am I going to wear with these stupid pink pants?!?"
"We'll find something, sweetheart. And remember, don't drink and shop."
I hate it when he's Right. I mean, he's right a lot, but I hate it when he's Right.
1 Comments:
Hmmm, I like pink but with pink pants you can only wear white, black, or grey, maybe brown. You should totally rock the pink pants and start a trend!
By
A Margarita, at 8:49 AM
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