Friday's post about prank-calling my co-worker reminded me of what I think is The Best Ever time I pranked her, so I related that story to Alan. Then today, she asked if I'd ever blogged about that particular call, which I haven't, but I'm taking the coincidence as A Blogging Omen. One of the other voices I like to do is an older guy, but because my voice is naturally in a much higher (very girly) register, I can't sustain him for very long conversations or I will start coughing. Similarly, I can only do this voice in shorter phrases, at least clipped but tending toward curt, and so I tend to think of him as Grumpy Older Guy. For purposes of this anecdote, let's pretend my Operations Manager is named Dan Ketteridge. He isn't, but let's pretend.

She: “Good morning [Our Company Name], may I help you?”

Me, as Grumpy Older Guy: “Ket'ridge there?”

She: “Yes, he is. May I tell him who's calling, please?”

Me/G.O.G.: “Mistah Weet.”

She: “I'm sorry - was that 'Mister Weed'?"

Me/G.O.G.: “Naw naw naw! Mistah Weet, like whole weet* bread!"

She: "Oh, Mister Weet. Let me place you on hold one moment while I tell him you're on the line."

Me/G.O.G.: “Naw naw naw! Just tell him it's Buck that's calling."

She: "All right, sir, one moment please."

[waiting, waiting, she's going to put it together in one, two--]

She: "BUCKWHEAT?!? BUCKWHEAT?!? Helly, you are NOT. RIGHT."

*Yes, I know wheat isn't spelled 'weet'. I'm being phonetic.