The Hellhole

Saturday, February 09, 2008

My friend Kathy sent me an e-mail with these horoscope synopses. She wrote that she's not a chatterbox (Gemini) but she could live with the rest. I'm a Virgo and as I replied to her, I wanted to say that I am not argumentative, but I suppose arguing that one is not argumentative is, in fact, argumentative. As far as my always wanting the last word, that is TOTALLY not true. Ever since our relationship began, I have always, consistently, allowed Alan to have the last word. Of course, those last words are, "Yes, dear," but that's beside the point.

Please leave me a comment with your Zodiac sign and whether you think this is an accurate description of you!

VIRGO - The Perfectionist
Dominant in relationships – Conservative - Always wants the last word – Argumentative – Worries - Very smart - Dislikes noise and chaos – Eager – Hardworking – Loyal – Beautiful - Easy to talk to -Hard to please – Harsh - Practical and very fussy - Often shy – Pessimistic.

SCORPIO - The Intense One
Very energetic – Intelligent - Can be jealous and/or possessive – Hardworking - Obsessed with sex -Great kisser - Can become obsessive or secretive - Holds grudges – Attractive – Determined - Loves being in long relationships – Talkative – Romantic - Can be self-centered at times - Passionate - Emotional – Loyal to a fault.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

ARIES - The Daredevil
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox
Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable but needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Likes change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. Beautiful physically and mentally.

LEO - The Boss
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

CANCER - The Protector
May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic.

PISCES - The Dreamer
Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative. May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter
Patient and wise - Practical and rigid – Ambitious - Tends to be good-looking - Humorous and funny - Can be a bit shy and reserved - Often pessimists - Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be unfriendly at times - Holds grudges. Like competition - Get what they want.

TAURUS - The Enduring One
Charming but aggressive - Can come off as boring, but they are not - Hard workers - Warm-hearted – Strong, has endurance - Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways - Not looking for shortcuts - Take pride in their beauty. - Patient and reliable - Make great friends and give good advice - Loving and kind - Loves hard – passionate - Express themselves emotionally - Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums – Determined - Indulge themselves often - Very generous.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One
Good-natured optimist - Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome) - Indulges self – Boastful - Likes luxuries and gambling - Social and outgoing - Doesn't like responsibilities - Often fantasizes – Impatient - Fun to be around - Having lots of friends – Flirtatious - Doesn't like rules - Sometimes hypocritical - Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes - Doesn't like being doubted - Beautiful inside and out.

15 Comments:

  • I am a Libra, and I am definitely a Harmonizer. I'm often referred to as the diplomat among my friends - I hate it when people are unhappy. I agree with my descriptiom perfectly, except for one part - I like to be social but I deinitely need my alone time.

    By Blogger A Margarita, at 6:30 PM  

  • I'm technically an aquarius but close to the cusp of pisces. I think pisces fits me a bit better. Aquarius traits that I have: eccentric personality, loyal, stubborn, original and unique. Pisces traits that I have: sensitive, vague, don't like details, dreamy and unrealistic.
    Afton

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:58 PM  

  • VIRGO What a perfect fit for me! Except, I didn't see nymphomaniac on there......
    John

    By Blogger John Bryson, at 2:37 AM  

  • Taurus

    Hmmm, let's see...

    Charming, no, aggressive, perhaps. Boring, to some people. Hard worker, on occasion. Warm-hearted, yeah. Strong, has endurance: I'd love to find out. Am I stable and secure in my ways? I am SO looking for shortcuts. I take pride in what beauty I have. I'm not patient. Maybe reliable. I do make friends and give good advice (that is rarely taken - idiots!). The rest is all true. What do you think, Helly?

    By Blogger Heather, at 2:49 PM  

  • John, maybe the nympho thing is only for male Virgos. I used to have a pink nightshirt that said "Virgo: That's Latin for "no"." written on it.

    Hmm. I don't know, Heather. I don't think you're boring at all and I've never seen you throw a temper tantrum. You do make a great friend. Do you take pride in your beauty? You seem kinda surprised/disbelieving when people tell you how pretty you are or what gorgeous eyes you have. But stuff like good advice and very generous - totally.

    By Blogger Helly, at 4:49 PM  

  • Aww, you're sweet.

    That Virgo shirt thing is funny.

    By Blogger Heather, at 6:40 PM  

  • I am Aries....

    Energetic - Yes!

    Adventurous and spontaneous - could add impulsive here too

    Confident and enthusiastic - yep

    Loves a challenge -that depends!

    I don't think any of these are me - though: EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (easily angered.) Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical - yikes! I hope not...

    I am working on the physically active part with the running - that is new in the past 1 1/2 yrs and that has been fun :)

    Lisa

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:03 PM  

  • GEMINI - The Chatterbox - not so much

    Smart and witty. - Of course!

    Outgoing, very chatty. - Somewhat outgoing - definitely friendly.

    Lively, energetic. - I think I'm so lazy!

    Adaptable but needs to express themselves. - The most true statement so far.

    Argumentative and outspoken. - Not at all. I hate and fear conflict.

    Likes change. - NO. Only if I'm miserable, which I rarely am.

    Versatile. - I think so.

    Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. - Yes, yes, yes.

    Gossips. - I love to talk about people, but I really do try not to be malicious.

    May seem superficial or inconsistent, But is only changeable. - I doubt that I seem superficial to most people.

    Beautiful physically and mentally. - I am a great mental beauty. In fact, I was a contender for Miss Mental Georgia several years running, back in my youth, when that kind of thing mattered.

    I've never thought my horoscope fit me very well. I think yours is a better (if not 100%) fit to you. :-) I LOVE that t-shirt.

    By Blogger Anonymous Me, at 10:41 PM  

  • Taurus:
    Charming but aggressive: no but no
    Can come off as boring, but they are not: yes but yes I am.
    Hard workers: Depends
    Warm-hearted: I can be
    Strong, has endurance: Endurance, yes
    Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways: Pretty accurate
    Not looking for shortcuts: Hell yes I am
    Take pride in their beauty: Hell no I don't.
    Patient and reliable: Not as much as I'd like to be on either
    Make great friends and give good advice: Yes and no
    Loving and kind- Loves hard – passionate - Express themselves emotionally - Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums:
    Not really, I hope so, no, no no, absolutely not!
    Determined - Indulge themselves often - Very generous: no yes and no.

    Where the hell is stubborn? I thought that was the trademark of all us Taureans. That I'll cop to!

    By Blogger Topcat, at 1:28 PM  

  • Aquarius - The Sweetheart
    I don't think there is much 'sweet' about me and I don't think I seem unemotional. The rest does seem to fit me.

    mom

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:50 AM  

  • Did you notice that only aries isn't listed as being attractive or beautiful?
    devon

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:47 PM  

  • Ha, Devon - you're right! Though Capricorns only rate as "good looking". I shall have to lord that over my Capricorn boss...

    By Blogger Helly, at 9:22 PM  

  • D'you know? Because I have time - which is brilliant, to have time - I read them all. And I can tell you they all fit me. And none of them do. Because that's how it is. And maybe some people I know or have heard of don't fit theirs at all? And so. Hmm.

    It's fun, though.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:07 PM  

  • LEO
    Very organized - LOL!
    Need order in their lives - LOL! Although I guess there's a difference between "need" and "has"
    Like being in control - depends on the situation, but generally no.
    Like boundaries - doesn't everyone?
    Tend to take over everything - not at all
    Bossy - not all
    Like to help others - yes, as long as it's not helping them move
    Social and outgoing - NOPE!
    Extroverted - NOPE!
    Generous - yeah, I think so
    Warm-hearted - yeah, sure
    Sensitive - depends
    Creative energy - yes. I like how it's worded as "energy" and not "activities"
    Full of themselves - I don't think so, but who knows. It's better than being full of everyone else, I suppose.
    Loving - sure
    Doing the right thing is important to Leos - depends on the "thing", but yeah, I'm pretty law-abiding
    Attractive - I was an adorable baby & toddler

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:14 AM  

  • Garbage. That's my considered opinion. :)

    I knew a teacher once who loved to show how full of shit astrology was. He would take the horoscopes from local papers, then remove the identifying Zodiac sign from the header, and mix them all up. This, of course, made no difference, since astrology is written as generalized as possible, to apply to large sections of the populace.

    "Social and outgoing", "fun to be around", "having lots of friends". What a crock.

    cheers,
    Phil

    By Blogger Phil C., at 10:43 PM  

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