I was set to write a funny post where I joked on Alan's utter embodiment of the axiom "out of sight, out of mind" - kinda like Rita Rudner's "it's behind the milk!" routine - because it is so very true of my darling husband. He eats grits & sausage each morning for breakfast and there could be three boxes of Quaker grits in the cupboard, but if he has to move a box of crackers 2 inches to one side in order to see them, he thinks we're out of grits and puts it on the grocery list. Well, not really - he puts "gulbz" on the list (see January 10 post). I had bought him several bars of gourmet chocolate at World Market, but because I hid them deviously (put them in the candy bowl! inside the treat cabinet!) he started having chocolate withdrawal tremors and stopped for some Reese's cups. But he's feeling sick and mopey so I can't post that post, because it would be wrong to joke on him when he's puny.

So I'll ask a question instead: what's the one little thing that your spouse/partner does that drives you completely bonkers, out of proportion to the offense?

With Alan, I am an extremely, extremely lucky girl. He doesn't perform any of the standard guy offenses. For example, that tired, tired stereotype of leaving the seat up - I've always kept the toilets completely closed - ring, lid, fuzzy lid cover and all - when not in use, to prevent the pets from drinking out of the toilets (and maybe poisoning themselves via a Lysol disc). He adapted immediately to that routine and has never deviated from it at all. No wet towels on the floor, no dirty clothes strewn about, no mostly empty Coke cans stuck to furniture surfaces.

As far as chores, we seem to have settled naturally into a division of labor: 90% of the time, he empties the trash and while he's doing it, I put a fresh liner in the bin. He takes the trash to the street, I haul the emptied can back into the garage. He remembers to put detergent into the dishwasher and turn it on; I empty it. We tend to share cooking and dinner clean-up, although he does most of the food storage clearing and more of the sorting of stuff - left to myself, I'd put everything into the dishwasher and hope for the best. He has certain expensive knives and cookware that he wants done by hand so he'll sort those out, leaving the do-by-hand stuff in the sink. We split the hand-washing probably 50/50.

So I realize that I am a very, very, VERY lucky girl with a fantastic husband (thanks, Nancy!) especially as he comes attached to the greatest, most wonderful set of in-laws that I totally adore, and he's such an absolute sweetheart that I freely admit I should be shot for complaining about anything, but. BUT. That scrubby sponge we keep on the rear of the sink? The one that's mostly sponge, but with a green scrubby side for burnt-on bits? HE NEVER WRINGS IT OUT. He uses it to wipe off the counter or clean a pot (for which I am profoundly grateful) but then he never wrings it out and the water sours, fouling our kitchen with this nasty, unpleasant stench. I used tons of Lysol wipes on the fridge and counters before I pinpointed the source of the miasma. Even worse, sometimes (like last night), I grab the scrubby without realizing it's full of old, dead, sour water and I get that putrescent odor on my hands; I never feel like I get the smell off, no matter how much I wash with scented soap or polish with lovely Bath & Body Works lotion...

In the overall scheme of things, I realize this is nothing. He doesn't gamble or run around with other women or hit me, he communicates, he is kind to me and to the pets, he's a wonderful guy. But dammit, he doesn't wring out the scrubby sponge!

Since my dad doesn't read this (although my mom does), I'll tell you the dad one. He's a wonderful guy too, intelligent, funny, sweet, thoughtful, etc. Nearly every night when he comes in from work, he asks my mom, "What are your plans for dinner?" Usually she'll tell him she doesn't have any, why? He proceeds to ask more questions, always very vague and general, along the lines of "What do you feel like cooking?", "Have you thawed anything yet?" although he never, ever, under penalty of death says anything useful like, "I was in the mood for steak", "I was thinking we could get pizza and then watch the game", "We haven't had Chinese in a while" - no, he just says "I was wondering what your plans were" in a dozen different ways, while insisting he has no reason other than mild curiosity for inquiring. The longer she guesses wrongly, the longer he keeps up the quiz until eventually she either hits upon what he wanted all along or gets exasperated and cooks something nasty like cauliflower in cheese sauce as revenge.

To reiterate my query, please share the one little thing that your spouse/partner does that drives you nuts.