My fantasy hockey team, the Unseen University Wizards, is still in first place (which means, in Helspeak, second - behind only Leigh-Ann, Hockey Queen). Bo did some informal research on how, besides her innate Canadian-ness, Leigh-Ann is kicking our butts. His conclusion was that she's (a) ahead on winning goalies and (b) way ahead on goals. He's ahead of everyone on assists and second in goals; I'm dead last in wins, third in assists and dead last in goals. So how am I doing so well, if I'm faring poorly in these individual respects? Penalty minutes, baby. That's right, I, Helly Braxton-Hayes, have THE THUG TEAM. If Tie Domi was on my team instead of Flippy's, I'd have assembled the undisputed ULTIMATE Thug Team. Ph34r me. Ph34r me hard.

In other sports news, wedding issues continue. I've concluded that I'm way too immature to get married - not that I'm planning to back out or anything, I'm simply warning everyone. We've been working on registries, trying to find items we actually need and want, as well as items in a wide price range. I've done pretty well on that point - so far, selected items range from $3.95 and $5.95 up to $99.00. Soooo, Target does online gift registries, too, and I'm fighting the urge - I mean really fighting, as in my fingers are hovering over the keyboard, twitching - fighting the urge to create a Target gift registry and register for nothing but thousands of boxes of condoms. Ribbed, for her pleasure. I'd also like to register at Wal-Mart (pursuant to a conversation a couple of years ago with my brother) for the most bizarre combination of items imaginable, like shotgun shells, Maalox, greeting cards, children's books, nasal spray, one small aubergine and motor oil.