Happy Birthday, Mom and Alan! Yes, my mom and my fiancé share the same birthday, although not the same year. ☺

I got trapped in my garage this morning!

When I shut my car door, I heard a loud, unusual “clonk!” sound. I wondered if I’d dropped something or what, so I tried to open the door to investigate. I could only open the door about 2 inches. Further investigation revealed that the white metal step-stool which had been propped against the garage wall had fallen against the car door - I guess I’d brushed against it or dislodged it when I closed the door.

What made things interesting was that it had fallen at an angle, not all the way down. The rounded handle/back of the step-stool had wedged into the contour of my car door, with a similar result to the “straight-backed chair under the doorknob” routine. I was stuck. I didn’t want to run over the step-stool because doing so would ruin it and maybe ruin my tyres as well. I tried easing backward, which wedged the step-stool more firmly against the door. I eased forward, which seemed to do nothing at all. Climbing over the console/brake/gearshift, across the passenger seat and out the other door to move the stool was an option, but since I was wearing hose, high-heeled boots and a silk skirt, it really wasn’t an option, if you know what I mean.

I continued easing the car backward and forward a few inches at a time, turning hard each time, and eventually worked the stool loose enough that it fell, I could open the door and move it, and leave for work. Still - the sort of weird one-in-a-million problem that would only, could only, happen to me.

Devon left a comment, “Somewhere in K'vitsh's huge collection of photos there is a (staged) shot of me fighting another girl for the bouquet.” which reminded me of a prior wedding incident. Several years ago, I was a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding and - oh joy - they videotaped it so this moment has been preserved forever for posterity.

All the girls, including me, circled around for the bouquet toss; whether by accident or design, the moment the bouquet left M’s hand and sailed over her head, it was (in an Uncle Jimbo voice) headed right for me! Seriously, the trajectory was spot-on Helly so precisely that NASA would be envious. In the video, you see me get this, “Oh shit!” look on my face and twitch my hand a little. Then, as it becomes apparent that I have no choice but to catch it or be hit in the face by it, I hesitantly raise my hand, with my expression seeming to indicate that I smell something vaguely unpleasant. The bouquet is inches from my reluctant hand (which is right in front of my face) when BLAMMAWHAMMADINGDONG! I get shoulder-blocked out of the way by this behemoth in a floral couch-print dress, who bashes into me like she’s trying out for the Oakland Raiders’ offensive line. Snatching the bouquet triumphantly, she jumps around with elephantine enthusiasm while a couple of other girls set me upright. I didn’t actually fall, I just got propelled sideways. Extremely sidways.

But wait there’s more.

M. seemed kind of ticked off about the whole thing and at first I figured it was just that she’d have preferred one of her bridesmaids or a close friend to catch her bouquet. But no - it turns out that Elephant Girl hadn’t even been invited to the wedding. M. was good friends with two women in her department at work. The other was much older than everyone else and only recently employed there. Still, out of politeness, not wishing to hurt anyone’s feelings or be rude, she had invited the 3rd woman in the department too. This woman was divorced with no “steady” so the invitation was for her alone - no “and guest”. However, the woman had taken it upon herself to invite her adult daughter along and it was this adult daughter, Elephant Girl, who’d knocked me three feet sideways and snatched the bouquet - and she wasn’t even an invited guest.