This post of KristyK’s got me thinking - why do I become a regular reader of some blogs versus others? Why do I comment on some but merely lurk on others, even if I read both types regularly? How do I choose them?

The first blog I read regularly was Nancy’s because she’s a real-life friend; it was at her suggestion that I started mine. At about the same time I started reading Sandy’s, who I haven’t met but who is friends from way back with Nancy, her husband, my fiancé, etc. Another friend of that group was Lachele (her blog’s not public); she and I started reading each other's blogs before we knew each other well but we're real-life friends now. Close friends. I helped her move. And by “helped” I mean “stood around helplessly holding a lamp while strong men moved large furniture”.

From there, I checked out most of the ones these people linked to, some of which I enjoyed enough to bookmark and read frequently. I bookmark more than I link on my blog; I usually don’t link unless I’ve had some sort of online interaction with the blogger and know it’s okay. Then I read a few of the ones those 'linked-to' people linked to (if you'll pardon the grammar). Every now and then, I go on a frenzy of clicking the “next blog” button to see what surprises it might bring me and, in among the ad spam blogs, the foreign language ones I can’t understand and the omg holla atcha boi txt spk I can’t stand to try to decipher, there is occasionally a good one like Bridget. Anytime a fellow blogger leaves me a comment, I visit his/her blog. But I can’t say I’m a regular reader of all my favorite’s favorites, or of everyone who has ever commented or e-mailed me. And as KristyK asks, why? How do we choose?

I don’t have a factual answer, but I have a conceptual reason I’ll share. Despite surface appearances, I think that the online community isn't all that different from the real-life community. Suppose you take an adult education class in something which interests you - a foreign language, a type of art, creative writing, investing and finance, whatever. There are 30 people in the class and right away, you have something in common with every one of them: your shared interest in the subject of the class. Out of those 30, probably 25 are kind, decent, interesting people. [1 of them is a sleazy guy with a combover who took the class because he thought it would be a good way to pick up women, 1 is a wealthy divorcee to whom everything seems intolerably boring, even herself (she’s right about that part), 1 is an elderly lady who does five hours of Pilates a day and runs 6 miles before breakfast and you get exhausted just talking to her, 1 is a weird guy who doesn’t smell but never seems exactly clean either, sits off by himself and never speaks, and 1 is a peppy blonde cheerleader type who complains constantly about her inability to gain weight no matter how much she eats, who only took the class because she has a crush on the instructor.]

But anyway, the point is there are 24 people (because one is you) who are fun, interesting, nice people with whom you have something in common, but you aren’t going to become close friends with all 24. You’ll become acquaintance-type friends with a dozen or so, form a go-out-for-coffee-level friendship with a handful, not all of which will survive after the class ends and, if you’re lucky, get to be really good it-seems-like-we’ve-known-each-other-forever friends with one or two. And the ones with whom you become buddies, and the ones with whom you form close friendships won’t necessarily be the ones with whom, on paper, you have the most in common. They won’t be the people who work in the same field as you, share the same religion, have the same number of kids, maybe they'll be of different age groups, genders, etc. but for whatever reason, you just “click”.

At least from my perspective, reading blogs is like that. I don’t have a concrete reason why I keep reading some people but not others, even though there is certainly no insult intended to those others. It’s just that there are plenty of people I smile and nod ‘hello’ to and others for whom I'll always be sure to save a seat.