Today I had to go to the ladies' room at work and was washing my hands after finishing up Item One on my trip agenda. Although I'm not usually the primping type, my hair was doing some strange things since I'd gone to sleep last night with it still damp and hadn't been able to steam and spray it into complete submission this morning. So I leaned closer toward the mirror to mess with my unruly coif and that's how I noticed this tag of dry skin hanging from my nose, just left of the upper curve of my left nostril.
I have horrendous allergies and the pollen count has been outrageous, so dry skin around my nose from blowing and wiping is hardly unexpected or unusual. But this little piece, due to size and positioning, looked EXACTLY LIKE a dried-out booger hanging in my nose. EEEEEEUW! So I tried to flick it off. No joy. I tried grabbing it between two fingernails, which didn't work so I tried again. Eventually I moved it somewhat but upon squinting and leaning closer, I realized I had managed to enlarge and twist the skin tag, so it looked EVEN MORE like a booger, but now like a big gi-normous booger. ACK! I kept trying to get the offensive flake off my nose, but with every pull, every flick, I made it worse. I had gone from a hanging pseudo-human booger to a hanging pseudo-OGRE BOOGER.
At one point, I was pushing my nose upward by the tip (in other words, making a piggy nose) with one hand while trying to tweeze the skin with the thumb and forefinger of my other hand, twisting my upper body and leaning to get the best lighting angle. Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I thought, "Holy gods and goddesses, I sure hope no one else walks in right about now!" -- because it would have been totally humiliating and embarassing and awful for a random stranger to have seen what I was doing. Any way I tried explaining that it wasn't a booger but a bit of dry skin would have only sounded like denial. Frantic now with fear, I stepped up my efforts and eventually divested my nose of Satan's epidermis without being seen.
And since I was so worried about the humiliation and embarassment of being seen by one person, it only makes sense that now I'm telling the whole internet.
MONTOYA DELENDA EST!
I have horrendous allergies and the pollen count has been outrageous, so dry skin around my nose from blowing and wiping is hardly unexpected or unusual. But this little piece, due to size and positioning, looked EXACTLY LIKE a dried-out booger hanging in my nose. EEEEEEUW! So I tried to flick it off. No joy. I tried grabbing it between two fingernails, which didn't work so I tried again. Eventually I moved it somewhat but upon squinting and leaning closer, I realized I had managed to enlarge and twist the skin tag, so it looked EVEN MORE like a booger, but now like a big gi-normous booger. ACK! I kept trying to get the offensive flake off my nose, but with every pull, every flick, I made it worse. I had gone from a hanging pseudo-human booger to a hanging pseudo-OGRE BOOGER.
At one point, I was pushing my nose upward by the tip (in other words, making a piggy nose) with one hand while trying to tweeze the skin with the thumb and forefinger of my other hand, twisting my upper body and leaning to get the best lighting angle. Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I thought, "Holy gods and goddesses, I sure hope no one else walks in right about now!" -- because it would have been totally humiliating and embarassing and awful for a random stranger to have seen what I was doing. Any way I tried explaining that it wasn't a booger but a bit of dry skin would have only sounded like denial. Frantic now with fear, I stepped up my efforts and eventually divested my nose of Satan's epidermis without being seen.
And since I was so worried about the humiliation and embarassment of being seen by one person, it only makes sense that now I'm telling the whole internet.
MONTOYA DELENDA EST!
2 Comments:
What I really expect is an accompanying photo!
By
Anonymous Me, at 8:49 AM
Honestly, given the choice between reading about it in the blog and encountering you in the restroom, I prefer the blog, too.
It isn't that I'd be grossed out by the unflattering dermal micro-surgery. Well, not that it'd be my favorite sight, but people are usually in restrooms in the first place because they need to do something they don't want the public to see, and I can deal with that. Rather, I'd know I'd made you feel embarrassed, and that would make me feel bad.
:-) L
By
Anonymous, at 10:43 PM
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