Have you guys been following the story of missing bride-to-be Jennifer Wilbanks, who disappeared from Duluth (a suburb just north of the A-T-L where Cheryl lives)? If not, the basic facts are that she went out for a jog last Tuesday evening with no cell phone, no i.d., no money, no car keys and never came back. Her fiance started searching when she didn't return in a reasonable time, called relatives, etc. and a massive search was implemented. She wasn't found and her family was frantic imagining that this would end...well, as these things tend to conclude. I figured they'd find a body and not a Jennifer, too. What made it even sadder and more difficult for the fiance and family is that her wedding was scheduled for today (Saturday) so it seemed like the ultimate happy occasion was destined for tragedy.

So in the wee hours of the morning she turns up in Albuquerque, New Mexico, safe and sound. CNN story is here. At first she spun a tale of abduction but then confessed the truth: she had proverbial 'cold feet' and needed some time to herself. WHAT. THE. F*CK. I mean, I can understand her position UP TO A POINT. A huge, formal, 3-ring-circus wedding with no less than 14 attendants, major pressure, it's a big step and a big decision, she's feeling trapped because you know the fam will give her crap if she tries to postpone or call it off, what with the caterer hired and limos rented and gowns purchased, plus if she says anything to the fiance it could well result in a break-up, not a postponement or a reassuring discussion. So I totally get the pressure and the stress. But how that translates to, "Hmmm, I think I'll pretend to go out for a jog and instead, I'll hop a bus to Vegas with not a word to anyone" - y'know, that's where she loses me. I remember Bo and I once discussing a totally different situation and as we said then: I totally understand each and every one of that person's points. I even agree with most of them, to an extent. But how she got from THOSE points to THIS conclusion...what are you, high?

Truly, I understand being under tremendous pressure both socially and from the family, and being uncertain about such a major step, but if it were me, instead of vanishing, worrying the heart and soul out of my family and fiance (and you KNOW people were thinking he did away with her, a la Scott Peterson, you KNOW they were saying stuff behind his back) I'd, I dunno, CALL A GIRLFRIEND?!? She had fourteen bridesmaids, don't tell me she didn't have a single bud to call. If I were having cold feet, I'd call Cheryl or Nancy or Anne or Lachele, or all of the above, and they would beat some sense into me er, I mean be totally supportive, buy me cocktails and talk me back to rationality.

It's just so bizarre. How could I ever face my mom after doing something like that? Not even a phone call saying, "I'm safe, don't worry, I'll call later." and hang up?!? I don't care how upset or stressed you are, treating your parents, not to mention fiance, in such a manner is just plain cruel. How does one face friends and co-workers? It's been the top story on CNN for days; you know even if they don't say anything, everyone's thinking, "What a nutjob!" -- and they'd be right.

What would you do if you were the guy? Would you marry her after all, whether today as planned or not? I don't think I would. I know, love is for better or for worse but - she's a nutjob! Actually, it's more because if I stayed with her, I'd never be able to relax and have a normal day. This would never fade from memory; every time she was a bit late for normal reasons such as working over a bit, traffic, stopped at the store and the line was long, needed to gas up her car, whatever - I'd be worrying, wondering to myself, "Is this it? Is this the day history repeats itself?" Which I guess boils down to trust - I'd never be totally sure she wouldn't scram again and the next time, it could be worse: leaving me to explain to the children, for example, not to mention raising them alone. Or maybe next time she DOESN'T turn up, and I'd be facing a murder rap, because even though he passed a lie detector test, the poor fellow was a murder suspect.

I wonder if she'll have to pay for all the costs associated with searching for her. She ought to, instead of us taxpayers. Idiot. I've been stressed past the breaking point, too (more often than I'd like to think) but damn! most of us just buy a big bottle of red wine or spend the day at the spa getting shaitsu or something, we don't cause a Federal manhunt! I'm just sayin'.

MONTOYA DELENDA EST!