Last night’s hockey game ended in a tie, thanks to Scott Mellanby and Jeff Cowan. From my perspective, that’s great because each of my favorite teams get a point. Most of the time, I watch hockey games on these special-purchase sports channels (DirectTV's "NHL Center Ice") but this one happened to be carried on Turner South, which made for a rather surreal viewing experience.
The majority of commercials on Turner South promote the other shows and series on that channel. Based on the commercials and program clips I saw, Turner South is apparently dedicated to propagating the stereotype of the Southerner as a gap-toothed trailer-dweller whose home decor relies heavily upon the judicious use of antlers and whose interests diverge from huntin’ and fishin’ only to the extent that they involve cookin’ and eatin’ thar kill. Yay.
On the positive side, it did give me the inspiration for my own television show. [Note to self: must consult Cousin Norm on how to pitch a show to a network.] It would be a reality show pitting the local boys from one county against the boys from the neighboring county in a two-part competition. The first part would be a test of endurance involving the drinking of vast quantities of Budweiser; the marketing exec in me already sees sponsorship opportunities here. The second part would segue naturally from the first, being a creativity challenge where the boys compete in artistic outdoor urination. Everyone stop for a moment and ponder that you’re reading something which contains the words “artistic outdoor urination”. At the moment, my working title is “Piss de Resistance”.
Some random musings:
If you’ve never read a Terry Pratchett book or listened to a King Crimson album, do yourself and everyone who loves you a favor: go out and buy Hogfather (book) and Discipline (album). You won’t be sorry - that is, unless you’re sorry for all the years you wasted not enjoying the greatest social satirist of our time and the most innovative and original musicians since Claude Achille Debussy.
If there is any better footwear than Doctor Marten’s patent Air-Wair 8-eyelet boots, I don’t know what it is. This statement is inspired by an admiring glance downward at my nifty Union Jack-patterned Docs with British bulldogs on the side.
"I'm very well aquainted with the seven deadly sins
I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in
I'm proud to be a glutton, and I don't have time for sloth
I'm greedy, and I'm angry, and I don't care who I cross."
- Warren Zevon, Mr. Bad Example
The majority of commercials on Turner South promote the other shows and series on that channel. Based on the commercials and program clips I saw, Turner South is apparently dedicated to propagating the stereotype of the Southerner as a gap-toothed trailer-dweller whose home decor relies heavily upon the judicious use of antlers and whose interests diverge from huntin’ and fishin’ only to the extent that they involve cookin’ and eatin’ thar kill. Yay.
On the positive side, it did give me the inspiration for my own television show. [Note to self: must consult Cousin Norm on how to pitch a show to a network.] It would be a reality show pitting the local boys from one county against the boys from the neighboring county in a two-part competition. The first part would be a test of endurance involving the drinking of vast quantities of Budweiser; the marketing exec in me already sees sponsorship opportunities here. The second part would segue naturally from the first, being a creativity challenge where the boys compete in artistic outdoor urination. Everyone stop for a moment and ponder that you’re reading something which contains the words “artistic outdoor urination”. At the moment, my working title is “Piss de Resistance”.
Some random musings:
If you’ve never read a Terry Pratchett book or listened to a King Crimson album, do yourself and everyone who loves you a favor: go out and buy Hogfather (book) and Discipline (album). You won’t be sorry - that is, unless you’re sorry for all the years you wasted not enjoying the greatest social satirist of our time and the most innovative and original musicians since Claude Achille Debussy.
If there is any better footwear than Doctor Marten’s patent Air-Wair 8-eyelet boots, I don’t know what it is. This statement is inspired by an admiring glance downward at my nifty Union Jack-patterned Docs with British bulldogs on the side.
"I'm very well aquainted with the seven deadly sins
I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in
I'm proud to be a glutton, and I don't have time for sloth
I'm greedy, and I'm angry, and I don't care who I cross."
- Warren Zevon, Mr. Bad Example
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