Running short both of time and inspiration for the second day in a row, I have decided to post the funniest 'conversation' I've ever had on the GameFAQs message board. In this discussion, I am "sennababe", which is the 'net alias I use most often (an homage to Ayrton Senna, of course).

Red Things 77: Topic: Is this board a secret? Message: I found it by mistake.

sennababe: Well, not ANYMORE!!

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: Yes. Congratulations. You have found the first secret board, founded by a former moderator who hacked into GameFAQs in the summer of 1999.

Enjoy your stay, but first collect your Essential Penguin.

Dark Terror Extreme:
1: Don't troll

2: A topic about LUE is as bad as a suicide here, don't do it.

3:Arf and I are gods, don't mess with us.

4:Insult a reg or vet for no reason, we'll be all over your ass.

Oh, yeah number five:
Don't feed Lord of Flame.

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: I am no God. Dark Terror is a God, but only because he proclaimed himself one. Now where's that Essential Penguin? Don't make me send the chief!!

TheCivilOne: That's not nice arf!

*Spoilers*
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You must collect the Blue key before the Essential Penguin.

*End spoilers*

sennababe: And you’ll need the red monkey’s paw relic to get the blue key.

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: Darn it CivilOne! You always go light on the savages! I’m going to request that the resident Czar revoke your magic pudding privilages!

TheCivilOne: NO! I NEED THAT TO LIVE!

RedMonkeyVII: I hope you’ve solved the riddle of Saratopsis?

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: Fine then. I'll consult the Great ZooZoo on the matter. I'm sure she'll come up with a solution!

Anybody have 1,200.21 rupies? I need to use a taxi!

TheCivilOne: I have 100 Scarabs. Is that close enough?

RedMonkeyVII: Sorry, but I spent my last rupies on tribute to the Great One.

sennababe: I’ll trade you 1,300 rupies for one golden scepter of Zohar.

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: *sigh* Fine. I can always sell my backup wife.

RedMonkeyVII: 10 golden pazoozas and a Scroll of Zolor for the wife!

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: I’ll trade you 1,300 rupies for one golden scepter of Zohar.
Are you kidding? I only have one golden scepter of Zohar, and that was the one I retrieved from the Harthanian War of 2000, during which my best friend PeeWee died! I shall never sell it!

TheCivilOne: Not even for a Klondike bar?

sennababe: Oh, I didn't realize it had sentimental value. 5,000 rupies, then?

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: 10 golden pazoozas and a Scroll of Zolor for the wife!
Hmm. Throw in a Demonic Puppy of j00phera and you've got yourself a deal!

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: For a Klondike bar, CivilOne, I will forgive you of your sin and give you my precious SnakeWatch of Xfejiwo.

TheCivilOne: How about your 1337 pants and a flying owl for half Klondike bar?

arfwoofbagoowhoareu: Now honestly, CivilOne, do you really think I can afford a flying owl? I'm a mere medicine man, and the prices are so high this month of the year.

*sigh* I'm going to retire to my hut. I'll see you guys at Rippitarf Sun Ritual time.

sennababe: Don’t forget, when we meet at Rippitarf Sun Ritual time, you have to bring your jeweled amulet of dancing Shiva and not the bone rune of Ifrit.

RedMonkeyVII: Oh, Rippitarf Sun Ritual time.

Dark Terror Extreme: I'll give my uber-chicken and some dry water for that klondike bar!

RedMonkeyVII: My Demonic Puppy of j00phera has been my faithful companion my entire life! Why, he saved my life when the monorail exploded!

I shall trade you my previous offer and forty pounds of macaroni and cheese powder, nothing more.

Dark Terror Extreme: My wingless flying dragon from the land of Ghd;DJADSDJPO! is what I will give, and that is my final offer.