Well, I learned something yesterday.  Evidently, in the care and feeding of a seven-year-old, you can't just order a medium cheese pizza from Domino's, plate it and call it good.

You have to cut it in halvsies first.

(Child is still alive and not bleeding.  I'm calling that a win.  Oh, also, now she knows the words to "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay".  I'm so going to hell.)