The Hellhole

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Minnie Cultured Pearl

Remember Minnie Pearl?  So do I.
A couple of weeks ago I got a sales flyer in the mail and therein Alan saw a pretty heather-gray cardigan.  He recommended that I buy it, and even though I am always loathe to buy new clothes when I don't need any, as a simple indulgence, still yet I caved to peer pressure.  As I was ordering the cardigan, I noticed that if I spent only a few dollars more, while I would not get a free Clint Eastwood, I would get free shipping, so I set out to do so.  I ordered the cardigan plus some new underpants, because can one really ever have too many clean underpants?  It's even better than knowing where one's towel is.

A few days ago my order came in, I unpacked and put away my stuff and that was it - UNTIL LAST NIGHT.  I had a bubble bath, which I do most every night (I am a nightly bubble bath person, not a morning shower person) and so afterward I put on fresh clean pajamas and a pair of brand new underpants.  I had a lovely sleep on my feather bed, under assorted quilts and comforters, snugged up with puppies.  It was a Three Dog Night, but it usually is at my house, except in the height of summer.

Today progressed as usual, until about 8:33 when I went to the ladies' room.  I happened to look down and register a vague, "Hey, that ain't right".  I looked closer and realized that the price tag - the stiff, pink, 2" cardboard price tag - was still attached to the center back of my new underpants.

Which means it had been there, poking me in the 'tocks:

  • the entire time following my bath as I sat and read on the couch
  • the entire time after I sought warmth and lounged in bed, reading my book
  • all night long as I slumbered
  • ...and got up twice to use the bathroom
  • all morning long as I styled my hair, applied makeup, brushed teeth and changed into work clothes
  • my entire morning commute
  • all morning long as I slaved at my office for about 1 hour 3 minutes

If this had been a "princess and the pea" test, I'd have totally failed.  I am the Victoria's Secret Lingerie version of Minnie Pearl.  Thank the gods it was at least on the inside of my jeans.

actual cardboard price tag

Point of trivia:  Minnie Pearl's hat price tag was $1.98.

My Vickie's knickers were a bit more expensive.

Inflation, you know.


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