The Hellhole

Monday, August 17, 2009

Here's a story for you. Probably TMI but I am mystified - and if Inna can blog about penises and batwings (EEEUW!) then I can blog about urination.

I don't pay that much attention to other peoples' bathroom habits - private thing, private matter, but generally I think most people spend about as much time on a Call of Nature as I do. Like when someone goes to the bathroom at my house, they reappear about when I'd expect; it's not like I'm looking at the clock wondering "What the hell?!?" or thinking of sending out a search party - just a normal interval. Well, get this. I just went next door to pee, and when I opened the door some woman was already in there, her stall door closed, peeing away. She kept peeing the entire time I went in, put a seat cover down, pulled down my knickers and did my thing. Now understand, this was not stops and starts in little dribbles. This was a loud, steady stream worthy of a UGA frat boy on a Saturday night.

But wait there's more.

She kept right on a-peeing, loud and steady, the entire time I rearranged my clothing, opened the door of my stall, walked to the sink, washed my hands, dried my hands, cranked out a couple more inches of paper towel to use as a napkin for my lunch, and left the restroom! It never let up one iota! I normally don't notice (or want to) what other people in the restroom are up to, but this went on FOR SO LONG, it was impossible not to notice.

Who does this?!? I mean, how is it medically possible? What kind of person has an eight-gallon bladder?!? How is there room for any other innards all up in there, with a bladder that size?


My friend Rachel works at a medical practice and she says the only way for this to be humanly, medically possible was if the unseen woman was emptying a catheter bag that she'd let fill to the point of exploding. If that's the case, people, lemme just tell you: I have luggage smaller than that woman's cath bag.


  • hehee, thanks for the shoutout helly! :)

    I'm sorry you had to witness me peeing. I had held it in for days and days, and days.

    Speaking of which, have you ever counted the seconds it takes to pee? I wonder if that women was trying to break the world record.

    By Anonymous Inna, at 10:36 PM  

  • I just counted: eight second pee for me. That's actual pee time, not counting clothing arrangements or hand-washing or anything.

    By Blogger Helly, at 9:28 AM  

  • Finally making my way over here! Fun reading.

    Am I the only one who's strangly satisfied by a long pee time?

    By Blogger Tanna, at 8:28 PM  

  • What a hilarious story. Tanna--not at all actually. I'm like the mystery pee'er: sometimes it feels like I'm never going to stop! I've been embarrassed countless times when someone comes into a restroom, pees, washes, fixes her makeup and leaves as I'm peeing the entire time. I've wondered what the other women think when they hear me going and going like that, and now we know haha! But yes, an eterni-pee is satisfying to say the least!

    By Blogger Jaime, at 10:07 AM  

  • I've been monitoring things and a five to six second pee is about average for me. Not counting "I've been riding in the car for six hours and refuse to use a rest area public toilet" pees.

    Jaime, "eterni-pee" is my new favorite word.

    By Blogger Helly, at 4:16 PM  

  • LOL Helly--glad I could help expand your vocabulary for made up words!

    I clocked myself this morning--one minute, 53 seconds. The sad thing is, I don't think it was one of my better efforts. The eterni-pee is strong with me!

    By Blogger Jaime, at 10:27 AM  

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