After yesterday's post, Alan asked if I was really perturbed at him for telling me not to eat the sour cream. I wasn't; mostly, I was put out that I didn't have any sour cream because like Some Catchy Chic commented, sour cream is an INGREDIENT in potato skins. I told him, "No, not at all - I just think it's funnier to make me sound like an overgrown, out-of-control toddler and you like the sane, calm, voice of reason."

Alan: *giving me The Squink Eye* And that would be different from reality - how?
Me: *hmpf!*
Alan: Let's review, shall we? Every few weeks, I have to talk you out of eating expired food which you KNOW is expired, but you WANT it. Every night I have to practically yank the book out of your hands and force you to go to bed...
Me: That's not fair! Not EVERY night!
Alan: Okay, true. Not on the nights when you've been running so wild that you crash exhausted at 9:00. On a regular basis, I find myself saying things like "Stop playing in that candle, you'll burn yourself!", "Don't eat just the cream out of the middle; if you want an Oreo you have to eat the WHOLE cookie!", "You've been playing that video game for 16 hours straight, you'll ruin your eyesight!"
Me: I'm going to have my bath. I can see that I'm not appreciated.
Alan: Oh, I appreciate you. You love me and look after me, you make me my favorite foods and you buy me gourmet soda and you rub my back, and...and...WHY IS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP?!?

(cool points and maybe a valuable prize to whomever gets the reference)