Back at the beginning of summer, A Margarita posted about her very serious problem: Bath and Body Works had discontinued her favorite fragrance. I commented that I empathized because they'd done away with my all-time favorite lotion/bubble bath (camomile neroli) and the wondrous linen spray (lavender/acacia/ravensara) that both smelled lovely and helped with insomnia. I'd been minorly irked by B&BW several times before, when they'd roll out a new fragrance I quite liked and then I'd never find it again (ylang ylang myrrh, sweet bay rose) but now??? Now, I am furious.

We were out running a bunch of errands earlier and I figured I'd stop in B&BW to spend a couple of gift cards. Want to know what's gone now? Sheer Freesia. Plumeria. Cotton Blossom. And worst of all, insult to end all insults, PEONY. No more peony, my basic favorite, my staple go-to lotion for years! I was compelled to register my displeasure with them in a scathing e-mail, because I am even more displeased that all these wonderful fragrances are being replaced by FOOD. Seriously - the new scents are stuff like pecan pie, brown sugar and fig, cinnamon bun heaven (I'm not kidding), iced tea twist, frosting forever - what the hell is up with that? I don't want to smell like a freakin' PECAN PIE or ICED TEA. I have endeavored for years not to spill meals on my clothes with precisely the intention of not smelling like frosting and frozen daquiris - erm, not that I have frosting and frozen daquiris at every meal - just on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

The clerk (who, most annoyingly, pronounced it peeOHnee and not PEEuhnee) told me that a lot of people had asked about peony and that many people had complained/were unhappy, which rather begs the question why it was selected for discontinuation, if a lot of folk bought it. Or tried to, as in my case.

I was angry not only that all my wonderful florals and herbals are falling by the wayside, but are being replaced by this crap like pecan pie - I mean, can you imagine a dude coming up to you in a bar, saying, "Mmm, baby, what IS that alluring fragrance? It reminds me of my favorite dessert and I'd really like to--" SEE?!? See why that's a very very bad idea?!?

So anyway I wrote B&BW a stinging e-mail telling them that my not insignificant patronage was dwindling and would continue to decrease with every introduction of a new item that belonged not on my skin but more properly in my refrigerator.