The other night I asked Alan to put some lotion [which is actually, thanks to a blog entry long ago from Dooce, pronounced SOSHUN!] on my back, particularly that one spot in the center of my shoulderblades that I can't reach. He agreed - he is very cooperative about this husbandly chore. Because I use only lovely, lovely Bath & Body Works lotions, he gives his hands a thorough scrubbing immediately afterward. Can't have the man of the house smelling all girly. This particular soshun was Cotton Blossom scent, if you're a B&BW fan.

So once I was fully lotioned, Alan raced to scrub the girly fumes off his manly hands, and I followed him into the bathroom to retrieve the lotion, having decided that my hands needed an application as well. The minute he'd dried his hands, in a fit of mischief I grabbed his forearm with my lotion (soshun!) coated fingers, transferring a gob of girly stench to his Ivory-soap-fresh skin. He washed that off and I sort of shadowboxed him, taunting him with lotion-coated fingers and threatening to Cotton Blossom him again.

But the husband, he is too wily for me! Instantly, he spied my Achilles heel and used it to gain the advantage.

"Back off, woman! Back off or I'll dry my hands on the guest towels!"

EEEEEEP!