Oh my gods, this is TOO WEIRD but I swear it's true.
Yesterday when I was still on my cursing-people kick, I cursed my co-worker Sheila, which I didn't post about because until a few minutes ago, it wasn't particularly funny. Sheila incurred my wrath by putting me in this VERY awkward situation - not on purpose, totally circumstantially, but I was kidding her that I blamed her for it and I cursed her with Bernadette (explanation to follow).
Sheila has this friend with whom she was close in school but the friend has had some horrible, traumatic experiences as well as drug/alchohol issues and is unbalanced. Periodically, she surfaces at Sheila's house and if Sheila's not home, she leaves long, rambling, truly strange notes, or she'll see Sheila on MARTA and talk to her at length in this odd stream-of-consciousness manner. Sheila told me about this friend a long time ago, but superstitiously won't say her name because it might cause her to appear, so we code-named her "Bernadette". It seemed that whenever I'd ask Sheila if there had been a Bernadette sighting lately, the answer would be 'no', but then Bernadette would turn up within days of my query.
Once Sheila brought one of Bernadette's notes to work to show me, which was written in the margins of a church bulletin and was all about Revelation, hockey being the tool of the devil and the proof that we were in the last days was that the devil was on television playing hockey. Sheila figured she meant the New Jersey Devils. I told her there's a player named Miro Satan but he's from Slovakia, you say it "sha-TAN" and then she pointed out all this other stuff Bernadette had written about mirrors of Satan. We think Bernadette was equating mirror with Miro.
Yesterday when I told Sheila I blamed her for the aforementioned awkward situation, I cursed her with Bernadette and told her to watch her back because Bernadette would be at her house this very weekend.
Sheila left early today and she JUST called me from a closet, via her cellphone, because BERNADETTE WAS AT HER DOOR RINGING THE BELL OVER AND OVER.
Yesterday when I was still on my cursing-people kick, I cursed my co-worker Sheila, which I didn't post about because until a few minutes ago, it wasn't particularly funny. Sheila incurred my wrath by putting me in this VERY awkward situation - not on purpose, totally circumstantially, but I was kidding her that I blamed her for it and I cursed her with Bernadette (explanation to follow).
Sheila has this friend with whom she was close in school but the friend has had some horrible, traumatic experiences as well as drug/alchohol issues and is unbalanced. Periodically, she surfaces at Sheila's house and if Sheila's not home, she leaves long, rambling, truly strange notes, or she'll see Sheila on MARTA and talk to her at length in this odd stream-of-consciousness manner. Sheila told me about this friend a long time ago, but superstitiously won't say her name because it might cause her to appear, so we code-named her "Bernadette". It seemed that whenever I'd ask Sheila if there had been a Bernadette sighting lately, the answer would be 'no', but then Bernadette would turn up within days of my query.
Once Sheila brought one of Bernadette's notes to work to show me, which was written in the margins of a church bulletin and was all about Revelation, hockey being the tool of the devil and the proof that we were in the last days was that the devil was on television playing hockey. Sheila figured she meant the New Jersey Devils. I told her there's a player named Miro Satan but he's from Slovakia, you say it "sha-TAN" and then she pointed out all this other stuff Bernadette had written about mirrors of Satan. We think Bernadette was equating mirror with Miro.
Yesterday when I told Sheila I blamed her for the aforementioned awkward situation, I cursed her with Bernadette and told her to watch her back because Bernadette would be at her house this very weekend.
Sheila left early today and she JUST called me from a closet, via her cellphone, because BERNADETTE WAS AT HER DOOR RINGING THE BELL OVER AND OVER.
3 Comments:
you're going to be in trouble for that.
By
Anonymous, at 4:14 PM
I'm already in trouble! Sheila's not happy! AND she's stuck in a closet!
By
Helly, at 4:22 PM
every one knows satan can't play hockey cuz he'd melt the ice! jeez, is bernadette stupid or what?
By
nita, at 8:36 AM
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