I'd never seen the movie The Great Santini before, but it was on yesterday; I ran across it while channel-surfing and being a big lazy slug. What. The. Hell.

I cannot understand how in the world a movie about Marine fighter pilots could be a chick-flick, but damned if it isn't. And it stars Robert Duval! The Tom Hagen, Lieutenant Colonel Bill Kilgore, THX 1138 Robert Duval! It started out so well, too, so full of promise, with Marines doing some serious hard-core drinking and making a ruckus in a restaurant. There was vomit! Well, fake vomit, but I try to keep an open mind where barf is concerned.

Then, oh gods, did it go downhill in a big way. Alan warned me it was going to turn all tender and heartwarming but I figured, "No way! It's Marine fighter pilots and Robert Duval!" and anyway, I was pretty sure there was a rule that no one who was in True Grit could be in a sappy chick-flick. But Alan was right. I'm so sorry I doubted him. So very sorry. Apparently the movie is based upon a book by Pat Conroy, which explains a lot. I had to watch six hockey games and a monster truck rally while smoking a cigar to get the mawkish taste of poignant out of my mouth.